You and Your Relationships:
All through our life, we are defined by our relationships. We start off as someone’s child; become someone’s spouse and the parent to our children. With every relationship comes expectation. Even though expectation breeds heartache, we are never free of it. Our parents will expect us to be there for them and take care of them in their old age. As someone’s spouse, you are expected to love them unconditionally, indulge their interest and share your life with them. For your children, you become provider and protector. At every stage of life, you will be someone’s best friend, someone’s worst enemy – people will depend on you, love you, and loathe you. Constantly being surrounded by people who expect something out of you can change your perception of who you really are, but the most important thing to remember is that you are the only person you can be.
It seems to be a strange and abstract concept. If you are you, then of course, you can only be yourself. It almost seems like a funny little tautology. However, if you think deeply, this statement is very profound, and it is also a very elusive concept. To be yourself seems like a very easy piece of advice to give, but to truly follow it can be the pursuit of a lifetime.
You Can Only Be You
While we are essentially social beings and out relationships with people make us stronger, we must always remember to be true to ourselves. Very often we find ourselves complaining about people, saying that they have changed since they experienced a life change. This is very common when you enter a romantic relationship. Your friends may say that you have become a different person since you started being with them. Sometimes this change is positive, but it can also be negative. Of course, this same idea can apply to any relationship, not just romantic ones. When you connect with a person, you always want to be the best version of yourself around them, and this can lead to many complications. You tend to do things you usually wouldn’t. In such times, you must always remember that you are the one who can define yourself in a better way, and you are the only person who decides how you should be.
Best Friend and Worst Enemy
To say that you are your best friend and your worst enemy is again, a weird statement that sounds too philosophical to be taken completely seriously. However, it is completely true. You have all your secrets, hopes dreams and aspirations, and no matter how close you are to someone, there will always be some things left unsaid. However, you have full disclosure when it comes to yourself. Your mind is your best friend because it knows everything about you. Your mind is also your worst enemy because it is aware of all your fears and it knows what makes you feel sad, angry and vulnerable. Bearing this in mind, it would not be wrong to say that you alone control what you become.
Knowing a person might not be the easiest thing to accomplish. While one can readily admit our strengths, to realize that we have weaknesses, to recognize these flaws and to work upon them can take a lifetime. Some people know themselves better than others – some know themselves faster than others, and some can take forever and still not know themselves completely. It takes great strength of character to look at oneself objectively and honestly admit to being good at some things, but also bad at others. While this is difficult, it is necessary, and in fact, people who know themselves well are often more well adjusted and mature. People who know themselves know what they want, and they can figure out a way to accomplish their goals. Such people are also part of more stable relationships, since they can find a way to stand their ground without being totally inflexible to the other person’s needs.
Why Be Yourself?
While the process of self discovery and introspection can take a lot of time, it is essential and is often beneficial, since sorting your own mind out can help you see the world in a better and more objective light, and this can in turn, help you to be rational and logical, and approach life with a more positive outlook.
In the process of finding out who you really are, take some time out to think about yourself. When you do something, you never do it pointlessly. Whether you choose to admit it or not, there is always a reason behind all your actions. You will never do something randomly. Once you find out why you do what you do, you will learn to see this same trait in both a positive and negative way. This can help you rationalize your actions and help you apply your traits in the best possible way when faced with an unfamiliar situation.
Being true to yourself and knowing yourself can also help you be a better person. You can learn to control your weaknesses, and use your strengths more often. It will also help people around you to understand you, and they will be able to handle you better. In this process, you should always remember that you should only do something if it makes sense to you and only if you want to do it. This might seem selfish, but unless something appeals to your sense of reason, you will not be able to take it seriously and justify it to yourself.
If You Stand for Nothing, You Will Fall for Anything
The bottom-line being, unless you know who you really are, you will not be able to best version of yourself for others. If you ever need to be something that you are not, or if you need to do something you don’t believe it, it isn’t worth it because you will not be able to justify it for yourself, and it would be against who you are and what you stand for. Know your strengths and weaknesses, and truly identify all that you can be. This will help you to spend a happy and stable life.
