Whether it is about losing that very special person to death or calling it quits because of a petty squabble, dealing with the loss of friendship is difficult. However, as they say, where there is a will there is a way. So, try and overcome the grief to make a new beginning.
Give yourself time to feel sad
Whenever there is a tragedy, you have an entire army of sympathizers materializing out of nowhere. It is, no doubt, good to have somebody around in the hour of crisis. But donât listen to each and every piece of advice or suggestion they make. The pain of losing a friend is not bound by time. And no person on earth has the divine blessing to predict how much or for how long you should be feeling sad. The intensity of pain varies across people. It impacts different people in different ways, but the hollow remains nonetheless, deep and sad. It is good to remember that the pain must be endured, no matter what. It is like nursing a broken limb- while you can always do things to reduce the pain for a while, it returns all the same and infuses your existence with more sufferings. So what does it all boil down to? Very simply, allow the pain to subside with time. Do not follow advises dropping left, right and center abruptly, for that might cause further sufferings. Having said that, the bottom line should be- feel the sadness now, so as to keep it from returning back through time, again and again.
Take ample rest
A friendâs loss is often followed by a plethora of complications, both psychological and of course, physical. The prospect of sleep appears impossible and scary. In dealing with the problems, people often take to harmful alternatives such as tranquilizers. As if that was not enough, next you have a series of nightmares to put up with. So, the question is how to find relief and overcome the pain and suffering? Try and get yourself some sleep by taking refuge in a darkened room. If that does not work still, then play some soulful and soothing music or get the TV to play peacefully in the background. The words or music emanating from the television will help fix your dream state to some extent. At least, it can keep you from repeating those horrible nightmares again and again inside the mind. It is worth knowing that the subconscious mind plays a crucial role in processing situations, thereby helping us tide over the crisis. Hence, it would be wrong to avoid your dreams completely. However, some may leave you in a sad state once the sleep gets over.
Do your bit to honor the friend you have lost
Well, nothing can be more soothing than doing your bit to honor the friend you have just lost. Honestly speaking, there are just too many things that you can do. Start by finding out the schedules for the next MS ride. If you had lost your friend to cancer, then check with the local cancer society and explore things that can be done. A Walk for the Cure is a case in point. You can donate the funds raised through the event in your friendâs name. While doing a few such things wonât really obliterate the pain and suffering, they can at the least ease the situation to an extent. This honors your friendâs memory and also qualifies as a positive contribution to the world.
Talk it over with a third person
Losing a friend does not necessarily mean losing him or her to death. It can imply a broken friendship as well. So when it is about one of the most precious relationships in your life gone haywire, choose a person you can pour your heart out to without facing judgments. Talking about the bitter moments that led to the final break off can always help ease the pain. Choose a person who understands you and wonât really rant out heavy lectures. Hence, the best people to qualify for the position are friends or associates who did not know the estranged friend. You can confide in them totally, sharing every bit of the pain or agony, or anger experienced. A trusted member of the family, a friend from the church, the pastor or even the guidance counselor at the academic institution you had attended etc. can provide the right guidance. A serious talk lover lunch with a colleague might prove helpful in kick starting the process of healing. However, be sure to choose somebody you share a close relation with and not to go picking people at random. Do not, for instance, go for people you have exchanged nothing beyond a harmless hello till date.
Detect the reasons for the break off
Try and identify the issues that triggered the final collapse. Irrespective of the magnitude of troubles, whether it is about a simple squabble or a full grown animosity, identifying the catalyst in the death is vital. Once you have finished identifying the catalyst, the healing process can now begin for both ends, together with a few lesson learning sessions. However, it needs to be borne in mind that in a majority of the cases, identifying a particular reason becomes difficult. The underlying causes may just come across looking too numerous for people to repair even after they decide to work towards a reconciliation. Therefore, getting a hang of the underlying reasons that necessitated the collapse becomes important. The knowledge helps you make stronger and better decisions in so far as it concerns other relationships also.
