Nobody likes to be stopped from doing what he/she wants to, but there are people who like controlling others and make their life difficult. The following are a few steps to deal with a controlling man.
Recognize them
There are various types of people in our lives and they influence us in their own ways and manners of behaving. Some just like to help us in our work, some like advising us and others just like making us do things their way. You have to be careful in recognizing different people and their attitudes and not let the controlling ones influence you much. Try to judge their behavior on how much attention they pay to your ideas and opinions. If they are controlling you, they would not appreciate your ideas and would always try to provide an alternative. Also, you can recognize them by noticing how much they are interested in your life, if they ask you questions about things that do not matter to them or are not related to them, then itâs better if you stay away. Do not let your liking or love for them to influence your way of thinking. There is a very distinct demarcation between caring for someone and controlling them. Make sure you do not ignore this when dealing with them.
Hold your ground, do not argue
When you know that the person you are dealing with is trying to control you, it is important to send out the right signals to him. You must hold your ground and carry on with whatever you have planned. It is important not to back away from your original idea and stand up to those who try to control you. If you think they are not going to listen to you or agree, try not to inform them and go about your business casually. They may react badly afterwards but once they accept that you are not relying on them, they may tone down a bit. You must always try to avoid arguments and remind them that you have every right to do what you want. Do not rely on them for anything at all; stand on your own feet to avoid being controlled by others. Make sure that you do not let them do favors for you and make you indebted to them.
Work together, take responsibilities
Controlling men, generally have a tendency to take the major portion of the important work and make you do work which they find irrelevant or of lesser importance. Do not allow them to dictate terms to you and rather be a part of it. You must stay involved in all the decision making steps that are taken which affect you and actively participate in them. Whatever task you are performing with such a person, make sure you make significant contribution to it and do not hesitate in questioning them. Asking questions and wanting to know things that you are doing will make them realize that you are not merely a pushover or follower. Anything you do, should reflect your own distinctness, you should not let anybody obscure your unique working style. Whereever necessary, try to make changes in the way things are being done if you think they are incorrect, do not fear retribution.
Do things that you enjoy, be yourself
What happens to people who come in contact with such annoying people who try to control our lives is that we forget ourselves. We get so sick of being corrected and arguing over small things that we start living our lives the way they want us to. If you cannot live your own life the way you want it and have to follow orders just to avoid arguing or keeping a relationship stable, then itâs definitely not worth it. Do not allow anybody to change you, because for this one particular person, you might be ruining your relationship with plenty of others. Do not change yourself nor lose your originality because of somebody else. Do things that you like doing, or hobbies that make you feel good and never forget who you are. Stick to your plans and do not change them unless they affect somebody very badly or seem unfair to them.
Sound body language
Controlling men control other people only because they are allowed to, otherwise they would not dare to. You must show that you are not going to be pushed around and must have sound body language. Make a point of making an eye contact with them every time you talk, it is a sign of courage and will push your adversely back. Do not be uncertain about what you want to do and donât go to them seeking advice unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Speak clearly and firmly and yet politely when you talk to them and be confident about anything you say. Never give them a chance to point fingers at you and make sure that your work is up to the mark. Making a mistake will allow them to get some leverage on you. In the worst case, if they are unwilling to take a step back, start avoiding them. Respond minimally and be indifferent to them and give them less opportunity to talk to you.
