In today’s world, it is hard to find a man whose heart has not been broken and who has not suffered the pangs of depression. Dealing with heartbreak is hard but a few tips can help immensely in dealing with the problem.
Tips for Guys to Overcome Heartbreak
1. Avoid sad thoughts and laugh out loud
The moment you feel that thoughts about your partner are haunting you and a feeling of grief overwhelms you, it is time to abandon these thoughts and think about something happy. Focus your thoughts on ideas that make you happy or on activities that lighten your heart. If watching comedy films makes you happy, watch a good comedy film, which had made you laugh out loud earlier. You can even think about what one of your friends had said on a previous occasion which had given you enough elements to roll on the floor laughing. Laughter is an effective way to reduce the pangs of heartbreak.
You may feel that laughing without reason may be thought to be as a sign of a lunatic, but do not pay any heed to what others feel. Laugh your heart out and you will feel better. A good laugh produces endorphins, the feel-good chemicals which directly go to the brain and helps you from getting into the state of depression due to the heartbreak. If you feel that you are running short of ideas to invoke a laugh, join a laughing club instead. The company of others and the systematic laughs evoked will help you in dealing effectively with a heartbreak.
2. Avoid staying alone
Avoid staying alone in a room just after you have suffered heartbreak. Most men try to avoid other people and stay alone, as they do not want to show their feelings in front of others. In the process, they isolate themselves from others. This is a major mistake made by the majority of the men. This should be avoided. Staying alone will again bring back thoughts about your partner and why she left you. This will further worsen the situation.
You can even start blaming yourself and often people try to find out flaws in them, due to which their partner left them. It is not your fault entirely. It is your partner’s fault also. So never blame yourself totally for the breakup and feel low. You can always go out and explore your talents, which earlier you did not have the time to pursue. You can also join a club of your choice and meet new people in the process. If you have a trusted friend who will lend an ear to your problem without being judgmental, then talk with that person. It will help you to lighten your heart and bear the heartbreak more easily.
Harboring negative emotions will not bring back your partner. It will only lower your self-esteem and confidence level. Be grateful for the fact that your partner left you. This may sound ridiculous, but remember, there is a silver lining behind the darkest of clouds. Likewise, this bad situation may save you from even worse situations that you may have to face in your future. Think in a positive way. Your partner may hurt you even more badly in the future. The pain that you have now received may be much less than the pain that you may have got had you still stuck on with her. Many psychologists feel that breakups help us to value love even more and the next person who comes in your life will be appreciated more by you. You never know what life has in store for you.
4. Move forward in your life
Another effective way of dealing with heartbreak is to focus on your work. Think about what you want to do with your life. Your ex-partner was just another person of your past. This attitude helps in coping with heartbreak. It will be difficult for you, but you have to learn to handle it and get out of it. Your partner, who had held such an important position in your life, is now to be treated as an ordinary person. This decision is hard, but once you stick to this decision, overcoming heartbreak will not be a problem.
Another good way of moving forward is by indulging in activities which you have left doing for a long time. It is a possibility that you may have stopped pursuing some hobby of yours as you were giving time to your partner. Now that you are all by yourself again, get back to that hobby again. This hobby may help you get out of the despairing situation and help you see things in a better light.
Nothing works better than exercising. A walk around your compound or aerobics exercises for about ten minutes can do wonders. These exercises stimulate the feel-good chemicals in your brain and help you to get rid of the negative emotions. Doing these exercises regularly will ensure that you are not possessed by these feelings. Even meditation and yoga are good ways to get rid of the pangs of heartbreak.
Meditation will relax your brain and help you to focus on your life ahead. Yoga will stimulate your body and help you get fit which will bring back your confidence and help you move ahead. Daily exercise will not only rejuvenate your body but also clear your mind of all the ill and sad thoughts you are getting about your broken relationship. Practically, it will help you sweat out the worries.
6. Vent out your emotions
Showing and expressing that you are feeling sad is not a sign of weakness, rather it is a sign that you are human. Everybody feels low at some point in their life and it has nothing to do with being weak. You must let out your feelings else it will take very long for you to get back to normal and in the meantime, you may miss many good opportunities to enjoy your life.
Talk to a friend or parent about your feelings and you will surely feel a burden being lifted off you. Be discrete in choosing people whom to share your feelings with because not everybody can sympathize with you.
7. Take out time for your life
Now that you have one less thing to worry about in your life, use that time to your own benefit. Do not sit idle through this period or it will elongate the suffering even further. Heartbreaks are a part of life, accept them calmly and do not feel that it happens to you only. When people fix this belief in their minds that all bad things happen to them only, it’s very difficult for them to get out of it. Catch up with your old friends and do things that you used to do earlier to keep yourself occupied. Outdoor activities or social service are two ways that will keep you occupied and make you feel better about yourself.
8. Learn from it and move on
The most important step to stop the aching is to understand the problem, try to learn the reason behind it. Once you have learned the reason behind it, take a lesson from it and never get yourself into such a situation again. Learning from this will help you move on and venture out of this misery to a world full of greater opportunities. Don’t keep brooding about it when you talk to your friends, you might bore your friends and they may start avoiding you. Let go of your heartbreak to allow yourself to be happy again because one defeat is not the end of the world.
9. Accept the situation
The most difficult stage of dealing with heartbreak is coming out of the self-denial mode. People find it very difficult to accept that things have ended and continue to nurture false hopes. This does not help you in any way but prolongs the suffering and makes the break up even more bitter. One must rely on their brains and not their heart in this matter, thinking logically and judging the situation according to the facts is better than being emotional and acting on mere whims.
Memories of the person further drag us into this self-denial mode where we refuse to accept the reality. The first step to overcoming pain is to accept its existence. Things will start getting better after you have once accepted what has happened. Once you accept the reality, let it sink in and then start evaluating and understanding why it happened to reduce the pain further. Acceptance may be a difficult step but it is a decisive one, your whole future depends on how well and quickly you can accept the situation and act accordingly.
The next step to acceptance is understanding, why it happened, and what went wrong. This is again a painful step where you will have to recall your worst moments and carefully evaluate them. Do not be emotional in your judgment and try to look at it through various perspectives. When you do this evaluation, you may sometime realize how blind you have been in love and how many compromises have you made, which you would not have, had you been reasonable. These factors will show you the real picture and make you feel that you are better off without them.
This does not mean that you should start hating the person; you should also look at the factors which led you to make mistakes that might have hurt your partner. It will help in making you a better person and reduce the bitterness between you and your partner. You may also rethink about ending it in a better way once you realize that this heartbreak was due to a small misunderstanding that could have been avoided. Don’t be egoistic at all and accept your mistakes boldly.
11. Talk to someone and express your feelings
One of the most important steps of moving on is venting out your feelings and frustration. Do not keep these feelings to yourself and feel bad about it. Bottling up your emotions will suffocate your happiness and make you very moody and weak. Do not try to fake it, do not pretend to be happy if you are not because it will make your friends feel awkward around you. Talking to someone close, especially if they have been through this, will help you feel better.
They will tell you about their own experience and you may feel that they got a raw deal. If you do not want to talk to anybody about it, write down your feelings on a piece of paper. You just have to let it out of yourself and then you will feel relieved as if a great burden has been lifted off your shoulder. You should also take care not to overdo this because it may make your friends avoid you. Once you have expressed your feelings, do not think about them again and again.
12. Focus on yourself and give it some time
Once we have had a heartbreak, it becomes very difficult to stay single and alone because we had become so used to having the other person with us. We tend to become weak and emotional and crave for somebody to take care of us. Due to this, we rush into falling in love again, in an attempt to restore our old happiness and peace of mind and end up having another heartbreak again. On the contrary, you need to be very careful about getting into a relationship again because you have already suffered a major blow. Give it time; let the feeling come to you naturally. If you think there is somebody who can be a good replacement let them prove their worth over time so that you bestow your heart to a worthier candidate this time.
13. Start a new activity
Starting a new activity like joining a club or social service helps you to be more social and open to the outside world. Helping people, doing a good deed, or just keeping yourself busy will make you feel a lot better. You will get to meet new people and make new friends who will distract you from your past life. You may also meet someone just like yourself, who has the same problem and that will help you immensely in moving on. Souvenirs of your past will make you weak and mislead you into thinking that things could be the same as they were in the past, cutting away these old ties is a must and you must be strong enough to do this if you want to move ahead in life.