Things to do before you consider befriending your ex

Whether we can be friends with our ex or not is one topic that is very complicated, as people have widely differing viewpoints. Some say that it is next to impossible to be friends with someone with whom you shared an intimate connection in the past. However, if you look at some examples from, some couples split but maintained a lovely friendship for a lifetime, which makes us believe that staying friends after a breakup is not an impossible task. All it requires are certain changes in your attitude and behavior towards your ex, and you are all set to be good friends forever. Following are some tips that you should consider if you are planning to be friends post breakup:

 

Take time apart after you breakup

Breakups are bad, and sometimes so powerful that during the immediate period that follows a breakup, a person feels so detached. Some get the feeling that they have lost the purpose and direction of their life. In case the partners have any plans to be friends after their breakup, they need to give each other ample time to come back to normal.

Feelings do not change overnight. You cannot just start behaving like a friend to your beloved like the very next day of your breakup. Human mind is not like the computer memory that once presses the erase button and everything is gone. It takes time, depending upon the intensity of your relationship, as to when and how your mind allows you to be friends with someone you dearly loved at one point of time in your life.

Give yourself time and indulge yourself in things that you love to do, the activities that keep you happy and excited. Meet new people, visit new places and do whatever your heart tells you to do. Then come back to the decision of being friends with your ex, and follow your heart.

Do not have sex with your ex

You can be a good friend to your ex after a certain period of your breakup. But be ready for changes, as things will just not be like they were in the past when you were lovers, and one of the biggest difference is in intimacy. You cannot get intimate to your ex and you should not, as intimacy is a thin line between friendship and a romantic relationship. If you cross that line, then you cannot be friends, and it affects the opportunities to explore other potential relationships.

Talk to your ex about your recent dating interests

This true test shows whether you are prepared to be friends after a breakup or not. Talk to your ex about your recent crushes and the ones whom you took out on a date with you. If your ex shows keen interest in your stories and do not show any signs of jealousy, that means you both can be friends and feel free to share your new found fantasies. However, if your ex feels uncomfortable and avoids listening to the stories of your budding romance, this means that you are not at a stage to become good friends after your breakup.

Be realistic and honest

Depending from situation to situation, some exes continue to be very good friends after their breakup, while some just cannot. It is next to impossible for some couple to stay in touch after a breakup because they just cannot tolerate their ex to be someone else’s present in front of their eyes, so they chose the – out of sight out of mind option. There are also some for whom staying friends after a breakup is quite easy. Some have dirty intentions, as they just want to be with their ex for the sexual pleasure and nothing else.

Dr Prem Jagyasi and Team (C)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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