The physical changes introduced by puberty trigger certain significant alterations in the mental make up of the teenager. Therefore, dealing with teenage children is and has always been difficult. Here are few tips which will help you deal with your teenager.Get Involved
The parents must understand that their teenage child desires to have them involved in matters affecting the latter. Irrespective of how much they pretend to do without parents, their behavior is nothing but a testing procedure in disguise. In reality, however, the same people want their parents to come and share a piece of the fears, dreams and joys despised or nurtured by them. In a majority of the cases, teenagers simply arenât ready to reveal their inner feelings. Parents, on the other hand, do their bit to discourage the child by ranting out long and tedious lectures. The resultant effect is anything but positive. The gap between parents and their teenage son or daughter only increases to reach an extent where neither one can tolerate the other. This is a period when every human being more or less undergoes bouts of indentity crisis. Hence, the parents must slip into the shoes of a reliable and caring friend. If possible get your teenage son or daughter to sit down and talk it over with you. Try and understand the problems he or she is facing. Infuse the child with the much needed wisdom which can help the teenager carve an identity.
Reason with the teenager
Surprising as it may sound, yet in a majority of the cases teenagers refrain from accepting themselves as being influenced by peers. However, deep down peer influence, pressure or acceptance always matters. A teenager is always hounded by matters that include popularity among friends, what fashion statement they are making etc. And parents who decide to cross their children on these matters only end up in petty squabbles. Keeping such considerations in mind, it is absolutely imperative that you let the child have his or her way. Arguments will never fetch positive results. It is not about a winning a verbal war against your child but making him/her understand the realities of life. In the absence of proper parental guidance, the child will prefer deriving support from peer groups around- groups made up of people the same age as him or her, equally unfamiliar with life and its many intricacies. The idea, therefore, remains to inculcate children with values steering them ahead in life, not through arguments but peaceful discussions. Set rules for the teenager to follow. Get the teenager to talk about problems, hear them out and find the common grounds. Do not try lecturing, arguing or forcing the child. Reasoning is the best policy.
Teach them to become a responsible person
Responsibility comes not only from the depth of hearts but also from the environment around. Hence, teach your teenage son or daughter to become a responsible person. Now, the process is not as easy said as done. A majority of the teenagers lack proper management skills to the extent that coordinating with so much as even the daily schedule becomes difficult. Start by giving them useful lessons on time management. Determine what needs to be negotiated and plan the activities accordingly. Some teenagers are superb manipulators if left with an absolute liberty to do whatever it pleases them. Give the teenager some time to understand the significance of learning. If possible get them engaged into practices that involve subjects taught at school.
Let them take their own decisions
In parenting a particularly difficult teenager, make room for requests put forth by the child and try and infuse them with a decision making capability. They should be given absolute liberty in so far as it concerns deciding clothes, activities and hobbies. So the question is, how does âbeing able to make my own decisionsâ approach help the child? Simply speaking it creates a sense of identity thereby paving way for stronger bond between the parent and the child. Being controlled and lectured at every step of life can turn them rebellious. And having a rebellious child at home is certainly the last thing you would want. So, strange as it may sound, refrain from taking decisions on their behalf. Rather encourage the teenagers to decide things themselves.
Be respectful towards your teenager’s privacy
Teenage is a period fraught with emotional vulnerabilities. Any attempt to give the teenager a piece of your mind pushes him or her away. This is the time when the child hitherto protected by parents comes out of the cocoon. It is only natural if the teenager wants to explore life in a way he has never quiet explored it before. He or she will start hiding things and you as a parent should never try to penetrate that secret fortress forcefully. But that does not mean you stop taking an interest in their lives altogether. For instance, express interest in the teenagerâs personal life without asking him/her for the password to his Facebook account. Again, be sure to remind the teenager how much exactly his/her opinion counts. If they appear adamant and refuse to agree, then explain things in a constructive manner. In all, refrain from being punitive rather don a more positive outlook. If you have gone wrong, do not think twice before apologizing. Shower them with praises as and when it feels necessary. Humility will cultivate mutual respect between you and your child.
