A perfectionist is a person who sets extreme high and unachievable standards and expectations from self and others. Having to deal with a perfectionist may be difficult but if you have a perfectionist in your life, whether in workplace or home, you will have to learn to handle this difficulty and tackle the perfectionist and his habit.
Try to understand the problem first
Before you try to deal with a perfectionist, it is important that you recognize the issue and understand that it is a genuine problem. Being a perfectionist is often considered as a psychological problem and often being or not being a perfectionist is out of the control of the concerned person. Therefore, try to understand the issue a little deeper. Try to gain an insight into the psychology of the perfectionist. Perfectionists perceive things in a different manner and see the world from a different point of view. Try to see the world from their point of view. Doing this would give you a better understanding of the person’s psyche as well as enable you to handle the person better.
Explain the problem
If problems are being created because of the perfectionist nature of the person, then it is important that he must be made aware of the same. However, if his perfectionism is not causing much of a trouble to you, him or others, you can ignore the matter and not interfere in his life and actions. If you choose to talk to the person, then explain to him clearly and in detail about how his perfectionism is creating troubles. When talking to the person, try to be as specific as you can and point out to him about the areas that his habit is creating troubles in. Tell him in which areas of life he needs to correct his perfectionism habit. Provide him with some solution which you think can help him overcome the problem of perfectionism.
Help him overcome the problem
A perfectionist would need support from others to come out of the habit of perfectionism. Convey to him that he has your support and you are ready to help him whenever and in whichever way he might need it to overcome the problem. Extend your help to him in areas where he might need help to deal with his perfectionism, even if he doesn’t ask for the help himself. During the transition period, i.e., when he is trying to overcome his perfectionism, give your full support to him. Make him believe that there is nothing called “perfect” in this world. Make him understand and realize that perfect things do not exist. Also, explain to him and make him understand that result or outcome is not the only thing that is important. The process or journey that leads to the result is important as well and so he should concentrate and enjoy the process of reaching his goal as well. Be patient with him during the entire phase. To deal with a perfectionist you must learn to be patient. Understand that perfectionism causes a lot more pain, suffering, stress and strain to a perfectionist than to other people around him.
Be appreciative and compassionate
While dealing with a perfectionist, explain the problem to him or help him overcome the problem and do not blame him as a person. Let him know that it is not he but his habit or perfectionism that is causing the trouble. You must not make him feel as if it is him that you have a problem with or that you want to change. Do not ignore him for his perfectionism too. Often a person turns into a perfectionist just to prove himself so that he is not blamed for anything, not ignored but receives due recognition, appreciation and honor from others. Therefore, develop compassion for him for his uncontrollable fear, his apprehensions and perceptions. Learn to appreciate him for his qualities and also for his eye for detail. You may also have to bear his criticisms. But do not take those criticisms personally.
Agree on a specific standard
A perfectionist would have high expectations from all around them, including you. So he might interfere with your work or show his discontent on your way of following or completing things and tasks. In such case, talk to him and mutually decide of a standard that you would maintain for any particular work. Tell him that perfectionism is his choice and not yours. So, if being better than your fixed standard is what he expects from you or your work then he can take it forward from where finish or leave the task. Remind him that you would be happy to maintain the standard that you have decided on. If improving things further makes him happy then he has to do the additional work himself to reach the standard that makes him content and happy.
