Help me, hug me love me!! Virtually every partner has heard this said at least once in a lifetime from the lips of his or her counterparts. However, what at first seems to be the delicious lip – smacking taste of love and later on in life, seems just plain and simple selfish, may be something that you hardly expected. Over-dependence on your spouse is actually, though it may seem harmless, yet can be a daring assault at the roots of marital life. Numerous relations have broken off just due to one partner’s assumption that his or her counterpart is actually nothing but a self-obsessed, pre-occupied with only his or her needs maniac. However, like everything that humans assume and assume wrong, this is one of the numerous examples.
Inception of the problem can be during the tender years of childhood. An atmosphere of pampering, getting your work done without any self-effort and being the receiver of love and affection by one and all concerned will eventually lead to these problems later on in life. The problem is that people who suffer from this, can be very arrogant and one-minded when it comes to admitting this problem. Being very strongly built into the subconscious mind of the victim and being subjected to development over a number of years, the problem grows a very long root, one that can’t be wrenched out so easily.
The fundamental thing that we have to understand about this is that people who are dependent on their spouses, even to the extent of hostility are, in emotional terms children under the visage of adults. Thus, we need to understand that they have never frown up, the mental entities and the synapses have never got developed in the normal way. Dependence is, as per what they think, their birth right and at the same time their means of survival.
The solution to such a problem lies in seeking professional help and to maintain patience and understanding. The dependent needs to understand that shrugging all responsibility in each and every case is, eventually going to ruin the relationship. After all, think logically, if in a relation one person takes no responsibility at all for the relation, then what is the use at all of such a relation?? The brain needs to be developed, it needs to come out of the shades of adolescence that it never got out of. Patience is of the utmost necessity, losing hope won’t work.
