A controlling partner, friend or relative can be a cause of severe annoyance. It requires a lot of effort from your side to keep yourself balanced and stable when you are facing control issues. Let us take a look at some of the ways to deal with it.
Realize the importance of your relation
This can help you to be a little less hard towards yourself and your partner. If you feel that the controlling relation in which you are is very important for you and can cost you a lot by its absence, you have enough reasons to stay in it and try to mend it. But, if at all you realize that it is not so important, it is better to move ahead and stop giving it a try. Why try to work something out when it doesnât matter a lot. Let us talk about the first situation where your relationship with the person with controlling attitude is very important for you. In such cases, you ought to find a way out through which you can make the individual realize how badly you are getting bothered by his/her weird nature. If you love the person and the same is true from the other side too, it wonât need anything more to get out of this crisis. Love and affection can mend everything.
Become responsible and take charge of your life
A person can only control you, if you give the reasons to get controlled. Start taking charge of your life and your actions. Do not rely upon anyone for even a single thing. From paying your bills to purchasing your groceries to driving to places, you are capable of doing anything. Controlling comes with dependency. As long as you are dependent on someone, you will be controlled by that person. The moment you start taking your own responsibilities, there will be nothing left where someone can be controlling you. It can hurt your relation for sometime but will bridge lots of other gaps with time.
Communication is must
The best possible way to get yourself out of this situation is to talk to your partner about how his/her controlling nature is hurting you. It wonât happen at once but with time and continuous talks, you will start seeing a drop off in your troubles. You can convince the person of taking time offs before reacting to anything. The same implies to you too, do not respond at once if you find your wishes being curtailed. You both can take silence breaks; think about what is bothering and then sometime later talk about it peacefully in order to clear your points. This conversation should happen only when you feel that you are ready to talk as well as listen. Remember, it is always a two way thing. You cannot just keep on making your points clear. It wonât help.
Nothing wrong in being a little double faced
A controlling person can sometimes end up creating a situation where you have to either agree or disagree to his/her opinion. You can be a little manipulative and hypocritical in such times. It is not a big deal. You can talk about it later in peaceful times. Disagreeing to their belief can make them upset which can result into a heated argument and sometimes lead even to abuses. Better to protect yourself from such unwanted circumstances. Just give a nod and let him/her carry on for the time. His/her consent on earth being flat is not going to change earthâs spherical shape. How does it matter anyways? There is no need to feel suppressed under such situation as you are doing this only to maintain harmony.
Pump up confidence and trust
Low self confidence and lack of trust on others are the chief cause of a personâs controlling nature. If you love and care for such a person, it becomes your responsibility to make him/her come out of such low esteem problems. It can be that they have experienced something which has molded them to become a controlling person. Due to lack of confidence, they suffer from a common feeling of not being loved. Hence they keep on bugging others to get some or other work done, whose completion gives them pleasure of being loved and wanted. All they need is a proper attention. They havenât been center of attention ever, so they demand it a lot now. This is not natural but it is not even a crime. Try to think this way and they wonât remain as irritating as you think them to be. Develop trust in them. Tell that trust should exist in any relation to make it work. It will take some time but with your consistent efforts to make your partner realize the importance of trusting you can eventually make your life easy and happy.
