Relationships are a part of our lives and when they end, they can leave scars behind. There are plenty of things that could go wrong in a relationship. What’s worse is the fact that your boyfriend might still have contact with his ex girlfriend, which you may not like. So what do you do in such a situation? Here are a few tips on how to deal with your boyfriendâs ex girlfriend.
Talk to your boyfriend about his ex
If you do find your boyfriend talking to his ex girlfriend you need to take some initial steps before it gets too late.You need to know whether you are really comfortable if your boyfriend maintains friendly relations with his ex. If you are not comfortable, you need to talk with your boyfriend about his ex and enquire as to what led to the break up. By doing this, you would not only address your fears, but also would make your boyfriend know that you are keeping a watch on him and care a lot for him.
It would also be of real help if you understand the mindset of your boyfriend and ask him about his current feelings towards his ex. Your boyfriend’s version of things will make your realize the true nature of things a lot more clearly. You would know exactly where you and his ex stand with respect to your boyfriend. Yet, do not make the mistake of hurting your boyfriends’ feelings as he can be quite sensitive in the issue. Also if he doesn’t want to talk about the matter, it is better to not continue the discussion.
Ask his friends about his ex girlfriend
The next step you could take is to talk with friends of your boyfriend about his ex girlfriend and relationship with her. Friends are an useful source of information and they can provide valuable insight into how the relationship of your boyfriend with his ex actually progressed and also about how it finally ended. This would make things seem a lot clearer to you. You must learn to give your boyfriend the space he needs in his life. Your boyfriend would certainly not like it if you keep on interfering in every corner of his life. Explanation wanted, can be made with time.
Be confident in your relationship
The first and foremost thing that comes into a relationship is trust. Trust is what makes the relationship stick together and makes the two partners believe in each other. Without trust no relationship can ever progress. So it is essential that you remain confident about your relationship with your boyfriend and not suspect him unnecessarily without any proper reason. Suspecting foul play just for the sake of it might lead to cracks in the relationship. You should keep in mind that even though he is your boyfriend, he needs personal space and freedom which should be respected. Respect his decisions, seek clarifications when necessary and always have a positive approach towards the relationship.
Donât try to imitate the ex
When you do come to know about your boyfriends’ ex you might feel that you would be better off if you could imitate your boyfriends’ ex. You could think that perhaps your boyfriend would love you more if you behaved like his ex. This feeling might especially creep in if your boyfriend still maintains contact with his ex. Yet you are forgetting one important thing then.Your boyfriend has already left her ex and hence he is with you. So you should not try to compare yourself with your boyfriends’ ex and the focus should be on the relationship which you have with your boyfriend. Any boyfriend would always want his girlfriend to be happy. So instead of worrying try to enjoy your times with him. Also remember that your boyfriend doesn’t necessarily want you to be like his ex. He wants you to be the way you are, as perhaps that is the reason why he is with you in the first place.
Go for counselling
If at all the situation gets out of hand and you feel the relationship is going through some troubled times because of your boyfriends’ ex girlfriend, then you should take some steps. You could consider contacting the authorities and getting a restraining order on your boyfriends ex. This is the last viable option and should be used only if the situation has gone out of control and no other option available. A restraining order on the ex will mean serious business and can put a lot of stress on your life. A consultation with a counselor can be helpful too as the counselor can judge the situation correctly and advice on the way to take further steps. He can tell you what is wrong with the relationship and help improve things between you and your boyfriend.
