The need for communicating with your ex wife could sometimes be unavoidable because of the involvement of kids. Instead of making matters worse, exercise a little tact and help things to become more manageable for you.
Importance of being polite
Many a time, ex husbands cannot be polite to their wives, especially if the split has not been amicable. It is very important to be polite when you have kids involved as you might have to meet quite frequently and take decisions and be together in many places for the sake of kids. Being polite will help both of you get along well in such situations and not remain antagonistic and unapproachable. This will also help your children feel happy and normal in the company of both of you. Remaining good friends even after separation is one of the prerequisites for a happy ending for you separation. This will help you take many important decisions about your children after adequate planning and consultations. Lack of friendship after separation will lead to many problems when it comes to taking important decisions about kids. Therefore, ensure that you make a serious effort to remain friendly and polite.
Set a limit for being close to her
After you have separated, there has to be a limit in your closeness towards her. This is especially important if you or your ex wife or both of you are married or have moved on to other relationships. You might have to still meet if kids are involved. It helps if you can plan certain guidelines that can help you decide as to how many times in a week or month or how long the meetings have to be. Make it a point to stick to these guidelines whatever the situations. It is also important to decide whether you want to schedule the meetings outside of the house or in the house. If your girlfriend or wife does not mind remaining friendly with her and is comfortable with her, you can think of meeting at home. Otherwise, outside meetings would be better. However, ensure that you keep your wife or girlfriend in the picture as to when and where you are meeting your ex wife. This will keep all kinds of troubles at bay. Let her accompany you if she desires so that she can develop a friendship with your ex wife and can be at peace.
Avoid clashes
Always ensure that you do not get into clashes and fights with your ex wife. This can lead to great friction while you meet afterwards. Clashes and fights between exes have a tendency to remain unsolved because both the parties involved do not have enough time or chances to resolve such clashes. This will affect your future meetings and chances of remaining friendly. Therefore, make sure that such clashes are carefully and consciously avoided when you are together. This will help your kids too to be at peace. Remain pleasant and approachable at all times so that your ex wife does not get a chance or do not need to pick up a fight with you when you are together. This does not mean that you have to accept every unreasonable demand put forward by your ex wife. Talk it out peacefully without attracting anger and frustration.
Do not point out mistakes
The time for pointing mistakes and shouting at each other are over. Put those things behind you once you have separated. There is no need to fight over things which are past. You have already separated and moved on and there is no reason that you should fight about each otherâs incompetence and habits. Avoid pointing at mistakes such as wrong way of dealing with kids, bringing up kids etc. It is now not your business to deal with such things as you are no longer husband and wife. Allow her to take her stand as well and do not try to impose your rules and views in such matter. You may suggest improvements, but never try to exercise them. Trying to impose will make your ex wife irritated and aloof, which is not good if you have to meet frequently.
Respect her and her decisions
As an ex husband, always ensure that you give your ex wife enough respect and recognition. Respect for each other must never be given a back seat. Once you learn to respect each other despite the separation and issues that you had to deal with, things will move smoothly. There will be reduced instances of clashes and fights and you will always have reason to smile and look forward to the next meeting without remorse. This is also excellent for the kids who would enjoy the reunion and camaraderie between their parents. In a way it is the duty of the parents to give wonderful memories of togetherness they can cherish, in the absence of a normal family.
