Your spouse may be enraged due to various reasons: from misunderstandings, differences of opinions or interests. If you want to make things work out between the two of you and resolve your differences, then you should know the right methods to handle your spouse well.
Listen to her always
Most of the time, misunderstandings develop due to lack of communication between the couple. With the passing of time, one tends to listen less to what the other is saying. This creates a gap in communication and ultimately paves the way to misunderstanding. For maintaining a healthy relationship between the husband and the wife, listening carefully to the ideas, desires, frustrations or any information is a must. Lending an ear to what your spouse has to say will not only ensure your partner to calm down but it will help you to get a peek into the changing personality of your spouse. Even when your spouse is angry and is showering you with insults, blaming you, try to maintain your calm. It has been found that only one person can be angry at one time. If you maintain your calm, your spouse is bound to become quiet after sometime when you will not respond to his insults or blames. Ignoring his speeches thinking that it is his anger which is making him say these things is a good way to maintain your calmness.
Look within yourself
When your spouse is enraged, try to find out the reason behind his or her anger. Look into your own actions and try to find out if any of them has caused him or her to become angry. You may have said something or done something without meaning to hurt your spouse, but which have ultimately led to his or her angry outburst. If you know your spouse really well, then you will be able to deduce the reason for the anger and hence you would try and calm it down by using some techniques. Never blame an angry spouse even if he or she is wrong as that could make matters worse and lead to a big fight.
Avoid been judgmental
Many a times, you tend to think that the thought of your spouse is trivial and do not matter much. However, this treatment at your hands will accumulate over a period of time and ultimately come out in the form of an angry outburst from your spouse. There may be events which you may not empathize with, but have deep impacts on the life of your spouse. The best thing to do in such situations is to accept the fact that your spouse is altogether a different individual with different set of feelings towards the same incident, which you may perceive as unnecessary. Also accept the fact that the emotional level of your spouse may vary with you. One incident may not be able to move you so much as it has been able to touch your spouse. Respecting your spouseâs emotions and individuality is a great way to deal with the situation. There will be times when despite trying hard you will not be able to empathize with your spouseâs emotions. In such situations, it is always better to avoid saying something like âthere is no need to feel like thisâ, which will counter the emotional state of your spouse and enrage him.
Take time off
There are times when you will find that the argument which had started from a small issue had taken a giant proportion and was leading to heated arguments. You will also realize that your anger have come to the forefront due to some words that your spouse have told you. In such situations, tell your spouse that you will not talk with him unless he assumes a milder way of talking with you. You should also point out that he should not humiliate you or blame or try to belittle you with false accusations. Point out to him that these actions will not be tolerated by you. Unless your spouse changes his way of speaking with you, do not talk with him.
Just stop
It is not always possible for you to maintain your calm and listen to all the blames and insinuations showered on you by your spouse. Even the calm individual will find it hard to control his temper in such situations. If you realize that neither you nor your spouse has been able to remain calm during the argument and that it is turning out to be really bad, then try and invent a code to signal for the argument to be stopped. This should be respected by you and your spouse at all times and irrespective of the reason for the anger or the situation. There are times when both you and your spouse need to back off from arguing. In such situations, let your anger calm down and then resume talking with your spouse. Otherwise chances are that you will end up having another row.
