Anger management emerges as one of the most difficult tasks for parents. The desire to punish can be detrimental to the growth of children, pointing to the need for developing strategies to manage anger. Let’s have a look at a few points how can you deal with an angry child.
Ease off tension and discomfort
Anger management can be difficult both for you and your child. It is important to provide calmness and comfort to your child by using human touch. Use gestures for revealing your care and love. A gentle rub on his/her back and shoulders or a simple hug can pacify the uncontrolled outburst. Use words to complement your gesture(s). If your child usually behaves affectionately, this method can yield fruitfully. For the touch-averse children, or those having serious emotional problems, do not adopt the technique as it may worsen the situation.
Use humor to teach children some of the vital lessons of their lives. Your child follows you closely during the growing years. If you can do mistakes, he/she can also. Do not seek perfection in your child. Avoid magnifying the effect of a mistake which your child does. Laugh off the matter to control the situation from taking a troubling dimension. Make mistakes a platform for learning lessons.
Children usually involve adults in their activities. Take this to your advantage and distract your child from disturbing elements. You can identify the probable triggers and divert attention before the matter turns worse.
Strengthen your childâs inner peace
Research indicates that both children and their parents, who are connected with each other, experience less of anger. Connectivity gives a sense of well-being to children. Even if they get angry, the expression would seem unacceptable. Finding other good ways of expressing the anger helps your child emerge with a stronger personality. As attached parent, you know your childâs behavior in diverse situations and can work out the solutions accordingly. You can manage without being harsh and troubling your child. Help your child in achieving inner peace.
Remember that when your child wants to tell you something, you pay heed to his/her demands. An unconnected child can act out of his/her inner turmoil. Children can experience void within, which can continue to trouble even in adulthood. There is a great possibility of this void getting revealed as anger.
Teach appropriate expressions to convey
Even though your child seems small enough, teach him/her to recognize anger. Sometimes, you need to know the emotions, you can teach him/her to work through the feeling. Sometimes, you need to deliberately ignore his/her intolerable behaviors. You need a planned and consistent ignoring, until your child realizes the wrong he/she is doing.
Actions come instantly to children. Ask your child to behave in a certain manner which is acceptable. For example, if he/she is in no mood to share his/her favorite coloring set, he/she can tell this straight away. Encourage your child to use words instead of gestures.
Be consistent in parenting
Parenting is an enduring process. Anger is usually the outcome of a gap between the expected and the realistic aspect of a thing. Children should be made aware of the consequences of their behavior. Consistent monitoring can bring security and reduce anxiety. Even if they do not get things done in their own way, they will not express anger. Consistent parenting can bring more predictability and stability in your child.
Research reveals that success stories make children more attached to their parents. Talk to your child about your real life stories (of overcoming hardships in life), and how it helped you emerge stronger. Give them hope and courage to face situations and difficulties. Inculcate optimism and positive qualities so that they refrain from using anger as their indispensable expression. Make your child comfortable to initiate discussions. Your displaying anger can make your child defensive. Facilitate communication by eliminating fear and reluctance. Occasional outbursts should not indicate concern if you share a healthy relationship with your child.
Check if any of the family members reveal concerning anger. Children learn considerably from people around, and having an angry family can be disturbing. Anger is just the tip of the iceberg, the more serious and troubling area lying deep within the surface.
Disciplining is important for children
Discipline plays a pivotal role in the development of children. It essentially does not mean that you impose a ânoâ to all your childâs demands. Be flexible, but limit the settings. Define the limits properly and implement the guidelines consistently. Whenever needed, say ânoâ clearly and definitely.
Refrain from punishing your child. Keep away from sarcasm and ridicule. Teach him/her to respect themselves and others. Disciplining is a prolonged process and may take time to materialize. When you teach your child to manage anger and discuss feelings, you not only prevent many angry outbursts but also help him/her share a strong relationship with others.
