Toddlers have an inane knack to annoy or irritate parents. Their temper tantrums, aggression and hyper behaviour can leave a parent knackered at the end of the day. Listed below are some ways in which you can deal with a toddler, to make life simpler.
Lay ground rules
Toddlers have the ability to boss around other children and sometimes even parents. They are power hungry and often want things done their way, on their own terms. Otherwise they are likely to throw tantrums, resulting in a not so calm situation. If your toddler has the tendency to do so, then what you first need to do is to lay down some ground rules about behaviour and the consequences of not following it. Repeat these rules before any social situation so that your toddler is reminded of how to behave. Also be clear and consistent about the rules as much as possible. For example, the fact that he or she has to share her toys with other kids, or wait for their turn to ride the bike and so on needs to be stressed well enough to make the toddler realize the importance of following rules.
Manipulative crying
Crying is a common attribute of toddler, or rather any children. But manipulative crying, which means crying and creating a ruckus so that that the parent is manipulated into finally giving in to the kid is not accepted. For example, you say ‘no’ to your toddler and he breaks out into a howling and screaming scenarios without any actual tears is one of the signs of manipulative crying. It can be highly annoying, especially if you are in a public place. It is a way to test the parents’ patience, to see how far they can get away with what they want by making a scene and grabbing your sympathy.
This should not be encouraged. They should be taught, at this stage, that by merely crying they would not get what they want. Parents need to take the situation under control by moving them away to a quiet place and giving the child enough time to recuperate. Giving in to the kids in such situations will only instill negative behavior, causing the child to do it again and again. If you are at home, then allow them to continue the scene, till once and for all they would realize that it is not going to work out. It is easier said than done, but parents should be aware of what they may or may not be doing to encourage their toddlers’ unwanted behavior.
Create a positive environment
Creating an environment where the child can be allowed to be individualistic is often a good train. For example, let him eat his own food, let him put on his own shoes and let him wash his own hands. Even if it takes a little longer, and maybe sometimes messier, allowing them to do small gestures like these build the confidence level in toddlers. They will learn to be calmer, rather than fight for every thing he wants to do on his own. This way, you not only instill good practices, you also end up disciplining him.
A child friendly house also helps to deal with your toddler effectively. For example, if your house is crammed with curios, books and vases that are absolutely out of bounds for the child, you would always be stressed out about him or her trying to touch it, climb it etc, thereby ending up with a frustrated toddler and an agitated mind in trying to fight the child. Instead, keep decorations to a minimal, arrange the kids’ books in places he can reach, have his toys in the lower cupboard and maybe even have a couple of floor cushions he is allowed to jump on.
Acknowledge feelings and soothe him
Your toddler may understand feelings way more than you give them credit for. When you notice that your child is getting ready for a melt down, explain how you understand the same and that you feel just the same. Make him understand that he is not the only one in such situations. Although they wouldn’t understand much of what you are trying to say, shouting at them or getting frantic is not the right way to handle such situations. They may also not immediately change their behaviour with the reasonable explanations you put forth to them, but this practise in the long run will help you empathize with the child and he will sooner than later come to terms with what causes the stir in his behavior and learn to act accordingly.
Soothing him down is also important when he’s at the verge of a wind down. Give him some water to drink or engage him in activities. Playing with his rubber animals in the sink while you cook, or helping him create animals out of his play dough are all activities bound to soothe the child’s senses when he is agitated.
Parents’ behavioral traits
Sometimes, parents tend to forget the fact that kids are kids. For example, taking a toddler to a crowded mall, grocery shop, park, in and out of the car, a couple of times a day can cause the child to be agitated. Kids need time to adapt to changes and if you put them through so many changes in a day, it is only natural that they thrown tantrums. So set realistic expectations when you have a toddler in tow and when possible avoid them altogether.
Also try not to label your kid, especially in front of others and definitely not in front of the kids. Instilling positive energy in them will not only boost their confidence but also change your outlook towards them. Instead of shouting and pointing at their not so good qualities, rewarding them for good behavior with positive message and small treats will only prove good in the end.
Lastly, try and relax when your toddler has retired for the day. It is ok if the house is a mess, or if your dishes are unwashed for a day, but the important thing is to not over work yourself, which in turn would affect your behavior towards the child. Every small thing the kid does will trigger something bigger if you haven’t had a good nights sleep. So have a good support system in place and revitalise once in a while.
