Toddlers can be very moody and demanding. Tantrum throwing and a toddler’s outburst is natural for her/his growth. But at times, dealing with toddler tantrum can be very difficult. Check out these solutions to effectively deal with toddler tantrum.
Understand that tantrums are a way of expression
We don’t say that toddler tantrum is good or is an acceptable child behavior, but you have to understand that once in a while, toddler tantrum is good for your child. Your child’s tantrum is emotionally equivalent to a blown fuse. A child generally throws temper tantrums because of her/his own internal rage. This is because their ability to reason and express is not as developed as those of teenagers or adults. Therefore, they may express their built up frustration through screaming, hitting or throwing themselves on floor. In such conditions, allow your child to have some space, so that s/he can calm down. Never appreciate a child’s tantrum and if the child is throwing tantrum to get something, like a toy or chocolate, then don’t provide your child with these items till s/he may calm down. Otherwise, your child will associate his tantrum throwing behavior with a positive response like getting a toy etc.
Hug your child
Toddlers may throw tantrum because they want attention. Researches suggests that child who throw tantrums on regular basis tend to have parents who don’t pay much attention to them. Remember, children are hungry for attention and love, therefore, always pay attention to their feelings and thoughts no matter how vague or absurd they may be. Although, you cannot have her/his demands fulfilled, but you can always show them that they are loved and wanted. So, when your child is throwing a tantrum, go and hug her/him. They may push you once or twice, but you have to keep trying. But even when you are showing your love, don’t adhere to child’s excess demands or else you will invite more tantrums later. Also, after the tantrum is over, try to work out the reason why it started.
Avoid the situation
If the tantrums are regular, then try to avoid the situation that may lead to toddler tantrum. For instance, if your child throws tantrum when s/he is taken for shopping, then avoid shopping with your child. Arrange for childcare when you want to shop, so that you can avoid the trigger altogether. Also, if your child throws a tantrum in public, then don’t feel humiliated. Remember that most of the parents watching you are more likely to sympathize with your situation rather than judging you. So, instead of feeling embarrassed, deal with the situation rationally. So, don’t give in to embarrassment. Also, cut out junk foods from your child’s daily diet as sweets can trigger blood sugar variations and cause mood swings. Avoid giving your child any carbonated drink as it has caffeine that can make your kid hyper active.
Don’t scold but listen
A child certainly faces difficulty in expressing how s/he feels. So, never scold a child who is throwing tantrum. Instead, listen to what they are saying like you are listening to an adult. Reflect back, answer your child by saying things such as, ‘You look so angry that you haven’t got your cookie,’ or ‘I get angry too when I can’t get what I want!’ Appreciate your child if s/he expresses their feelings without throwing a tantrum. Also, reward them by simple things. If your child doesn’t throw a tantrum when s/he is not given his favorite toy or her/his demand is not heard, then reward the child by cooking her/him something s/he likes. This way you will discourage deliberate tantrums. Also, always reassure your child that you are there for him even if you can’t get him everything.
Save energy for harder battles
Kids may want you to give them some kind of liberty. So, choose your battles. Don’t fight or argue with the child if s/he wants to eat cereal in a different bowl or want to wear gumboots to a party. Give your child some independence so that you don’t have to deal with power struggles. But follow rules that are non-negotiable, like holding hands while crossing the roads. Teach your child the importance of following rules by telling them that following rules will make them good boy/girl. Don’t try to rationalize too much with a toddler because s/he can’t understand differing viewpoints. So, the next time your child wants to unbutton a coat even when its cold outside, then allow her/him to do it for a while. After some time, say things like, ‘Oh! It’s so cold, unbuttoned coat can make one sick!’ without pointing to the child, so that s/he realizes that buttoning the coat will keep her/him away from cold. Try these simple measures to deal with your child’s tantrums. Always make sure that you understand what your child is expressing either by saying or throwing a tantrum.
