The number of teenage pregnancies in the US are increasing day by day. They can have devastating consequences for both the expectant mom and the child and so it needs to be dealt with in the best possible manner. Listed below are some logical ways in which you can handle the situation.
Confirm and inform
If at some point you suspect you are pregnant, don’t think twice, do a home pregnancy test. With so many varieties of home tests available in the market, it is not a difficult task to know the result. As scared and apprehensive as you are, it is important to go ahead and confirm the inevitable sooner than later. The earlier you know the better it is for the sake of your mental and physical stability. It would also give you wider options and you can then plan your next move in confidence. Remember, being in denial may be a convenient way to overcome unwanted teenage pregnancies, but it would not solve the problem.
Once the home test is positive, make an appointment with an OBGYN as soon as possible to doubly confirm the same. Then, inform your parents about the situation as calmly as possible. Understandably, it is not an easy task to tell your mother and father that you are pregnant, but you have to make sure they know your current state as the situation is not the one that you can manage on your own. If you find it impossible to tell your parents, tell a friend or someone you are close to without wasting time.
Also notify the father of the child at this point. If he is a mature and sensible person, he will be with you through the entire process without abandoning you. At the same time, if he chooses to not be a part of it, don’t lose hope as you already have told your parents and close friends who love you unconditionally.
Weigh your options
Once you are sure about your pregnancy, it is important to act fast. Sit down with your parents, loved ones, or a counselor and have a mature conversation about the next move. Consider all the different options you have, keeping your current scenario in mind, and discuss in detail the pros and cons of each option. There are basically four ways in which you can go about teenage pregnancies:
1. Abortion
This option vastly depends on how far into your pregnancy you are. If you have found out you are pregnant way later in the day, it means abortion may be hazardous to your health. But, if you have the option available and would like to go for it, do a thorough research and find a hospital or reputable practitioner who will be able to help you. It could be a traumatic experience for you, so make sure you take a friend or family member along for emotional support.
2. Adoption
If you don’t want the baby, but don’t want to do an abortion either, adoption is the next best option on offer. There are so many childless couples out there who may be willing to give your child a home. With plenty of agencies around, this can be done without much hassle. Get in touch with a reputable and ethical agency and interview a couple of likely candidates. Remember, this option requires the permission from the child’s father as well.
3. Be a single parent
You could decide to raise the child on your own, once you had him/her. This maybe be a difficult and expensive option, especially if you are still in school and would like to continue. If you choose this option, make sure you have a plan in mind and start preparing with parenting classes, doing up the baby room, etc.
4. Joint parenting
You and the father of the child could come to an agreement about bringing up the child together in the same environment. This does not necessarily mean you should get married to him. You could take your time to know each other better, learn to adapt to the new changes the kid brings in your lives and then take matters forward. This would work if both the parties are in good terms.
At the end of the day, it is your decision that matters. You should not be compelled or pressurized into making a decision that you may regret at a later stage. Whatever you decide, be sure of it and stick to it right till the end.
Be independent
If you have decided to keep the baby, decide the alternatives like how you would tend for the baby, if you would get a job and so on. Of course you can depend on your parents and loved ones for emotional support, but money-wise, you will have to figure out a way to be independent. Try and save money wherever possible. You do not need to buy your baby expensive clothes and accessories, instead, ask your friends and family for hand-me-downs which will do just fine. Try and finish your schooling as far as possible, as it will be good when it comes to bagging better jobs. Also apply for Medicaid and WIC (Women, Infant, Child program) wherein some or most of your medical expenses, food, and living expenses would be taken care of.
Get a place to stay
If your parents have given you an ultimatum and your boyfriend isn’t supportive about your decision to have the baby, you are left to tackle the situation on your own. In such cases where you will have to move out of your house, don’t lose hope. Get in touch with another relative or friend who would be more than happy to accommodate you till you are able to find a place to stay. Once you have settled in, try and look out for a small place to rent or move into after you have had the baby. Look for ads in newspapers or ask around, and you are sure to find an affordable place.
Contact support groups
There are plenty of support groups which deal in teenage pregnancies. You will meet people from similar situations, and it would be the ideal thing to do in the vulnerable state you are in. These support groups will guide you and advice you on important aspects like how to have a healthy pregnancy, parental classes, caring for you baby, etc., which are all new areas for a new mother to be.
