Shyness is an emotion that affects how you behave around others. It is normal to be shy, especially when encountering new experiences or people, but sometimes, shyness can cause serious handicaps to the way a person lives or experiences life. Here we have discussed ways in which you can put shy people at ease and make life easier for them.
Acknowledge
Every person in this world, shy or not seeks acknowledgement. Some people are able to ask for it, when not given, while others resign themselves to lives of obscurity. To deal with a person who is shy, one must acknowledge them. Be aware though, to do it in a gentle manner, as too much attention would defeat the purpose. You could start with simple eye contact or a smile. As they become comfortable with you, you can begin conversations, simple ones at first (e.g. about the weather, or work or class) and as time goes by, you will see, that their shyness begins to disappear around you and you can see them for what they truly are.
Exercise Patience
Maybe it is your son who is shy, or perhaps someone you like. Or you could be a teacher with an exceptionally brilliant, but a very shy student. Obviously this person is important to you and that’s why you would like to know how to deal with them. If that be the case, you are going to need patience, and lots of it. Shy people are akin to tortoises, they prefer their shells. That is why, when they do make it out of their shells, the slightest provocation or hurt, could send them right back in. It will take a lot of time and effort to earn their confidence. There will also be times when they will seem to have forgone their shyness, only to get it right back after an argument or disagreement. Don’t lose hope, more importantly don’t lose your desire to deal with them.
Include in activities
Three is a crowd, but it is also what will aid in dealing with a shy person. For a shy person, being friendly with someone is easier than doing the same with a group of people. If you are at work, you could probably invite the person in question and a couple of others for lunch, or for a coffee during break. As they get accustomed to people, they will let go of their inhibitions, albeit, slowly.
A shy employee could be asked a simple question pertaining to their area of expertise during a meeting. The expertise will provide some confidence, while the simple question will guarantee a short answer, thereby giving them an incentive to overcome their shyness.
Positive reinforcement
A ‘good job!’ can work miracles in the way a shy person feels. Shyness can keep people from exhibiting their talents and gifts. So what little you have access to, encourage it. It will motivate them to express themselves just a little more with each passing compliment.
If you are a teacher, by praising a shy student in front of the other students works in two ways. Firstly, it will surely give the other students a reason to work harder and secondly, it will cause the shy student’s classmates to acknowledge him or her (with an applause) and thereby bolster his or her self confidence.
Be cautious
Though it is a good thing to do all the above, it is also very important to be cautious. Unless you know for sure, the reason for the person’s aloofness or shyness, do not attempt to be their problem solver. Some people might just be introverts by nature and it is okay to be so. And it is also important for you to accept them as they are, as opposed to ‘changing them’. However, some people might have genuine problems, health wise or mentally, and it’s important that you read the signs and know where to stop.
