A parent’s death is indeed a great loss that cannot be made up in any possible way. But life is all about coping and moving on and at some point of time, you too will have to learn to adjust and accept the loss as a part of life. Here are some ways to deal with the loss of a parent.
Understand death as natural
Death is a natural process and all human beings have to deal with it. As your parents grow older, you must be prepared for this phase in your life and when it happens eventually, learn to look at it as a natural process. Your parent has lived his/her life to the fullest and have completed his/her parental duties as well. It is a natural process that children have to see their parentâs death at some point in their lives. Do your best to make the funeral arrangements as good as possible and make sure that all filial duties are adequately executed at the time of your parentâs death. Losing yourself entirely to grief will make you depressed and you might regret later that you did not do your duties well during the funeral. Grieve your parentâs death and get relief from the sadness and pain before you move on.
Accept the loss
The initial days after your parentâs death will give you inconsolable pain and sadness. There could be a vacant feeling that will nag in your heart when you enter the house. The feeling becomes more intense if your parent has been very lively and active. The sudden silence and emptiness could be too much to handle. It might take a few weeks for you to accept the loss. Take it slow, but make sure that you do not lose your mind and go into a cocoon during this phase. Once you start accepting the death, you will soon be able to take control of your life and emotions. It is also important to take good care of your other parent who will be feeling the loss more than you and would be struggling to battle the emptiness and loneliness associated with the loss of a spouse. Ensure that you are with your parent all the time and give him/her good support and care at this time.
Get good support
Support is needed at the time of the death of a parent. This is especially important if you are very young and are still dependent on your parents. While younger children are bound to become more affected by the loss of a mother, both parents are equally precious and the loss of a parent at such a young age can be very traumatizing for the child. Ensure that there is a good support system by way of relatives like uncles, aunts, cousins and friends who can help you deal with the grief and prevent you from getting into depression and mental trauma. Good support will help the person remain grounded and he/she will not have to brood in silence. Talk about the parent and his/her deeds to your support group and listen to what they have to say about your parent as well. This will make you feel much better.
Reminisce on the good days
Memories can fade away, but they are never completely gone. Talk about your parent to his/her friends and to your friends as well. Let them know about how he/she has been and this will also make you feel good. It is also important to introduce your kids to their grandparents whom they may have never seen or do not remember much about. These thoughtful actions will keep the memories alive and will get transferred from generation to generation, keeping your parent alive in everyoneâs memory. Reminiscing on the good old days will help you cope with the loss better as well.
Take control of your life
Some people are weighed down by extreme grief and would find it difficult to get out of the grieving phase. If you find that you havenât been able to get past the grief, it is important to seek counselling and learn to accept the loss. A counselor will be able to give you good advice and help you deal with the loss in a mature manner. Also, make sure that you are never alone which will make you think about the incident over and over again, leading to difficulty in recovering from the incident as well. If you are alone at home, get out and do something that will keep your mind busy and not brooding.
