The happiness of any relationship can be ruined by feelings of jealousy. Often these feelings can be tucked under the guise of having too much love, however, this emotion can unfortunately hinder the future of the relationship.
Trust: give and take
Most feelings of jealousy are often drawn out of self doubt or even doubting your partner. Constantly questioning if you are good enough for your partner or even worthy of being an equal will only be harmful to the relationship. These feelings of doubt sow the first seeds of jealousy and envy of your partner’s ex. Giving trust to your partner is vital to sustaining the happiness factor in a relationship. Just as your partner trusts you, the perfect deal is when you give it as well. If you trust your partner then there won’t be any feelings of jealousy in the first place. The false suspicion of infidelity in a relationship can be hurtful when the individual comes to know of it. Remember that suspicion can only add to more conflicts, or even worse break up the relationship. If you are sure that your suspicion is justified then you should talk about it openly with your partner, rather than mulling negatively about it.
Be accepting of the past
Accepting your partner’s dating past is the first step to building a strong relationship. The past experience makes your partner somewhat of an expert in being a lover. You should realize that generally, the lessons from our past experience helps us take better and informed choices. Consider yourself to be that better choice, or perhaps even the best. It is because of you that the past remains in the past for your partner. One cannot change who we have been, but it makes worthwhile the experience of today. Therefore, it is very unlikely that your partner will make the same mistake as before. Do not obsess over the imaginary but accept who your partner was. Remind yourself that you are the one who will be building the future with your partner. Do not miss this chance just because you were still living with past.
Stop the comparison
Comparing yourself with your partner’s ex is the first mistake you can make to usher in feelings of jealousy. It is pointless and even harmful for your relationship. Wondering about your partner’s ex or even comparing if the ex was more attractive than you can only be destructive. Such feelings of constant comparison can make you very unhappy while it will annoy your partner as well. It is for a reason that your partner is with you, and not with someone else. Instead of being hung-up on feelings of comparison with your partner’s ex, focus on the future happiness of the present relationship. This can only begin by making the most out of the present relationship with your partner.
Give and build space
It is only natural that you and your partner will come into social contacts with other people. Don’t be alarmed if your partner hugs or kisses an ex on the cheek as a social greeting or even pays a compliment to someone other than you. Keep yourself in check by reminding yourself that you could be exaggerating the situation. If this happens, just remember that it could be you the next time greeting a friend or an old flame. These situations are unavoidable in any relationship therefore do not hold back your partner from having social contacts. Remember that it is possible to be friends with an ex, just as you might have with your own ex. In case you realize that your partner could be more than just being friends with the ex, then you should express your feelings and talk it out. Clearing things out with your partner at the onset can also help alleviate the conflicts, as your partner is most likely to understand your perspective as well. Keep this in mind, your partner will also make an effort to avoid being too forthcoming with an ex.
Seeking help and a support system
If feelings of jealousy of your partner’s ex is a recurring pattern for you, perhaps you should seek help to sort out the issue. The longer the problem persists, you might be unable to find happiness or success in any relationship. There are several ways in which you can deal with this dilemma. There are support groups, life coaching sessions that can be availed through experts. Voicing your issues to a third party might help you get over the jealousy of an ex.
