Disappointments happen. They are a part of life, and would remain so. The need is to not let them overpower you. Think of every disappointment as an experience gained. Remember that every failure hides in itself an opportunity to learn and become better. Here are a few things that you should, or should not do when faced with a disappointment.
Don’t internalize failure
Disappoint and failure can have a very negative impact on a person’s self worth. Repeated disappointments can make anyone feel like a loser. But, this tendency to internalize defeat and disappoints can have a very negative effect on your confidence, future expectations, and efforts. So just because you have failed at something, don’t feel that you are a failure. Don’t consider yourself any less just because of the disappointments coming your way. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty or ashamed. Examine the disappointment objectively and learn from the mistakes that led to the failure.
Don’t think of it as the end
No matter how big the disappoint is, it can never be the end of all possibilities in life. So, when a setback strikes you, don’t think of it as the end of all your future hopes. It is not so. Something new would surely come along. Things would change, because they always do. Nothing remains same forever. So, even if you hope has suffered a setback, a new one would rise up soon and new possibilities would open up. Just keep your heart open to them. Don’t lose yourself so much in gloom over one disappointment and miss the other opportunities that life might bring your way. Stop staring at the pain in the past and look to the future and plan out new aspiration. It will take your mind off your disappointment. It will also give you a positive feeling which will help you tide over the present disappointment even better.
Don’t compare yourself to others
The worst thing you can do while facing a disappoint is to weigh yourself and your life against other people’s experiences and achievements. Sure there are people who get unbelievable success with very little efforts, and sometimes even without much deserving. But, comparing yourself to such kings of destiny is not going to help you at all. It will only give rise to negative feelings of envy and anger. Such comparison would also make your disappointment feel more severe than it might be. So, don’t compare. Focus instead in bettering yourself and winning over the disappointment by not letting it defeat you and your future expectations. Also, don’t let anyone pull you down either. Don’t let anyone’s ridicule and mockery affect you. At the same time, don’t judge people by the way they react to your loss. They might appear insensitive, but it might just be the awkwardness of situation or their failure to understand the gravity of it, or many such things that might be affecting their reactions. So, don’t let it affect your relationships. It would only add more pain to the disappointment.
Examine and evaluate
Treat every disappointment as a learning experience. Examine and evaluate the event, your actions and reactions, and try to find out what went wrong. How you could have done better. Accept the lessons, use them to better yourself, your circumstances, and your relations so as not to face similar disappointments in future. Don’t let the disappointment stop your attempts. At the same time, it doesn’t usually make much sense either to go on doggedly doing what has failed before. When the scientists try to make a new discovery and invention, they often fail many times. But, they don’t stop trying, nor do they keep on trying the same method again and again. If one method fails, they study it, examine and re-evaluate it to find out why it failed. They learn from it and then try the invention using a different approach. This different approach is based on the better understanding that they gained from their past failures. Remember, a disappointment is not the end of one attempt, it is the beginning of future better ones.
Accept your pain, but don’t dwell on it
There are some people who don’t accept that they are sad just because they feel it would make them appear weak. There are certain others who dwell so thoroughly on their pain and sorrow that they make it seem even worse than it might be originally. Both these attitudes are negative and don’t help in dealing with disappointments in an effective way. First of all, you must never run away from your feelings. Feelings are natural and they must be accepted and dealt with, instead of hiding them. If you faced a severe disappointment, it is natural to feel sad. Accept your feelings, and also accept the comfort, assurances, and encouragements that your loved ones might offer. Your friends and family are your social support system. It’s foolishness to turn away from them when you are in most need of them. At the same time, don’t dwell so much on your misery that you fail to recognize and appreciate the happier moments that life may bring. Though you may have faced a bitter disappointment, there still is much in life that is happy. Let these happier elements break through your gloom and disappointment. Let them rejuvenate you and help you recover so you are ready to face the next challenge.
