Dealing with a difficult teen can be very overwhelming, exhausting and frustrating. But it is not an impossible task as with some tips and strategies, parents can effectively deal with their teens. Read on to know how we can deal effectively with out of control teens.
Understand your teen
Teenage is the period of storm and stress. Most of the teens deal with a variety of problems including physical, social and emotional changes. Therefore, they tend to be defiant to the rules of the house and try to defy the authority. They are caught in the battle of childhood and adulthood. These changes can make them hostile and out of control. So, you need to understand your child and what s/he is going through. Most of the teens get out of control because of underlying issues that they can’t deal with and cannot talk about. So, be alert and see the behavior of your child. Encourage them to talk and discuss their issues. Understand their problems and don’t judge them.
Take control
Teenagers get out of control because several parents are fearful of taking control. But, if you want your teenager to get on the line, then you will have to take control of the situation. Don’t be frightened and don’t worry about what your child will think of you. Instead, decide rules and regulations, along with their possible consequences. Show your child that you love and care for her/him but at the same time be strong enough to enforce rules. If you child tries to argue, then avoid the arguments and conflicts by ending an argumentative discussion. Don’t be too permissive or neglecting.
Choose your battles
As parents we try to reason out with a teen, every time they do something wrong or act in an unacceptable behavior. This may result in more conflicts between you and your child. So, decide your battles. Don’t argue with your teenager on things like what kind of clothing he/she should wear or how they should style their hair and what they should eat. Save the energy for important issues like drug abuse, risky sexual activity or hostile behavior. Give your child some space and stop arguing about their friend circle, average grades or looks.
Take away the privileges
If your teenager is out of control, then punishing them is not a good option. Punishment will only result in more defiance and frustration in teens. Therefore, instead of punishing them, take away their privileges. Spell out rules, unacceptable behavior and their consequences. The consequences should be such that you don’t need child’s cooperation to act them out. For instance, if your child behaves in a hostile manner or repeatedly acts aggressively, then you can take away the privileges like car, cell phone or T.V., video games, etc. You must give these things back to him/her only when your teen repeatedly displays acceptable behavior and is truly feeling sorry for her/his acts.
Wilderness programs
If your teen is experiencing a variety of problems like drug abuse or too much aggression, then you can opt for wilderness problems that are conducted by therapists in several regions. These programs are like camps that may last from anywhere between two weeks to two months. In these camps, teenagers learn acceptable behavior through therapy sessions and outdoor activities that allow them to explore and learn. They also learn about team work and respect. These programs shun children from using cell phones, T.V. or other facilities, till they are in the program so that they can learn to value things and develop positive behavior.
Seek guidance
Apart from underlying issues and problems at school, some teens may display out of control actions and behavior because of psychological problems. Mood disorders like depression or bipolar manifest during teenage. So note the signs and behavior of your child, if you feel that he/she is having too much trouble. If your child is encountering severe distress due to school or family issues, then you must not hesitate to seek guidance. Consult a therapist who can counsel you and your teenager to deal effectively with the situations. Choose a therapist who has experience in dealing with adolescent problems.
Never give up
Dealing with an out of control teens can be quite frustrating and troubling. But as a parent, you should never give up on them. When they say rude things, act in unacceptable manner, then you may get overwhelmed and may want to shout on them or stop talking with them. But this is not an answer. More or less, an out of control teen is insecure. So, always make your teen feel your love and warmth. Even when s/he is rude and you have to take all their privileges, be loving towards them. Never give up on your teen and always reduce your communication barriers. Seek support if required. Deal with your family issues like marital conflict, as family issues can actually make teens spiral out of control. In the end, be positive as several other parents also have to deal with difficult teens and they deal with them successfully.
