Chronic complainers are people who are on the fault finding mission. Even a simple action like holding a conversation with a chronic complainer can be very irritating and annoying. Here are a few steps how to deal with a chronic complainer.
Understand what they want
When a chronic complainer starts talking, it becomes almost unbearable for you to hold a conversation with them. They have a problem with everything and there is no way in which you can deviate them from their motive. Introducing a new topic of discussion would just make them start complaining about that. The best way to deal with them is to stay silent and hear them out. They just want to be heard; they just need some attention and would do anything for it. You do not have to necessarily agree to everything they say or reply back, simply listening attentively will make them feel better. Respond minimally and avoid being dragged into any arguments or discussion.
Do not offer solutions
A chronic complainer cannot be satisfied by any means; they enjoy complaining and will find out a fault in anything. They are not complaining so that their problem will be solved or looked into, they just complain because it in their nature to do so. Do not try to find out a solution to their problems, they will certainly find out a loophole. It will be sheer wastage of your own time and effort. It may also encourage the complainer to find out other things to which they might start complaining about. Generally, they do not agree to any solution the other person provides and are adamant to their issue. Making an effort to solve their problem and then finding that it all went in vain will just irritate you and strain your relations with them.
Show sincere empathy
What the chronic complainers are after is empathy, the listener should be able to feel their problems and appreciate what difficulties they face in their daily life. Try to cheer them up by being kind to them and asking them about their likes and dislikes. They will definitely concentrate on their dislikes most, but when they talk about things they like, they will brighten up. You must press on this point and continue talking about the positive parts only and allow them to forget their complaints. Praising them for an achievement is also another way of making them stop complaining and think about a brighter side of their life. When you encounter a person who is complaining about his entire day, tell him that you understand how difficult it must have been for him and that you appreciate him for the way he manages it daily. Compliments and praises will allow the complainer to forget about his suffering and enjoy a light moment with you.
Ask them open ended questions
When dealing with a chronic complainer who is not willing to listen to you or make sense in what he is talking about, ask open ended question. When you ask the person some open ended questions about the matter that is concerning him, he is forced to think about it. Thinking about the whole situation will make him realize that he has been short sighted and only concentrated on the negative aspects of the matter. Open ended questions will make him stop complaining and force him to talk about everything, not just the problems. Let him do the talking and wherever the person misses out on a positive point remind him. Do not be sarcastic or it will annoy them and make them complain even more ferociously. Be polite when talking to them and do not give them any other reasons to complain.
Do not try to change them
One thing you must never try to do is to never try to change the way the chronic complainers talk. They will not change their way of talking no matter what you try. They enjoy talking that way and are not actually suffering as much as they project, hence their problems are imaginary. These imaginary problems have no solution, and any solution you offer today, might be their new problem tomorrow. Do not allow them to change your mentality and keep a positive aura around you. If you think they are starting to influence your way of thinking, then it is better to avoid them altogether. Never get into an argument with them on why they complain about everything because they do not realize it and will have reasons for each of their problem. You can make them complain less in your presence by showing empathy, but you can never change them altogether.
