The most painful fact about relations at work place is that they are easy to get into but if you break up, it is very difficult to get out of it. The reason is professionally you cannot escape facing your ex since you have to work together. Read on to know how you can deal with a breakup with a coworker.
Talk with your ex
No matter what problems you had with your ex, just bear in mind this important fact that your career is very important. Put professionalism ahead of your personal conflicts. If you find that the company of your ex is unavoidable at work, decide to talk it out. While doing this, make sure that you both don’t thrash out at the underlying issues. Talk to him/her and let the person know that you want to put the past behind and work as a good team. This helps you in moving on in your life as well.
In another scenario wherein your ex is making a lot of fuss about your break up and making work a hell, weigh your pros and cons and deal with the situation. If you decide to quit the job, think twice if you can have a job as good as the one you are in now. also visualize how you see yourself after a period of time in a particular job. If you find a better chance for your career growth just move on. On the other hand if you have great opportunity at hand and your ex is messing it up for you, just think that it is a test for your patience and character and slither through the challenge as you have to be strong and selfish to work yourself to the top.
Leave some personal space
There are two sides of a coin, from a philosophical perspective, let us say that one side is good and the other one is bad. Sadly in this case, its not just bad, it is horrible. When things are not working in your favor either in your personal life or at work, you will not appreciate tension of any kind between you and your Ex. Some times a cold stare or a sarcastic smile can drill a hole right into your heart. It begins a series of events til you are emotionally disturbed. The worst part is that your colleagues get to witness the problems you are facing in your personal life. It is humiliating and disturbing too.
After a painful breakup any one would prefer not to see his/her ex as much as possible. But at workplace, it is next to impossible to avoid your ex particularly when you are expected to work in the same team with her/him. So give your ex some personal space without being too obvious. For example, if she/he is standing at the coffee machine, avoid going there. Take the next turn to board an elevator if you find your ex on it. These little things may help you to avoid some unwanted disturbances.
Donât demean yourself and stay away from touchy matters
Despite your constant efforts to maintain a healthy relationship, there might be a chance that your ex is trying to dig all the issues you have decided to put behind and make a fuss over it. In such a case, do not react. Be tough but calm. Let your ex know that you are not going to lose your dignity by creating a scene at the workplace. Another point to be remembered is that you should never mention any touchy topic like the sweet memories you shared, and about the break up. It only deepens the wounds caused by the painful break up.
Do not flirt at the workplace
Flirting with other colleagues at workplace may only worsen your situation in dealing with your ex. It shows that you are yet to get over your ex and you are still trying to make him/her jealous. There is every chance that it might lower your self esteem among your colleagues. It gives out wrong signals to them. They may think you are just another sex maniacal loser who tries to flirt around badly and desperately.
Never involve other co-workers
If you have a messy break up, you might want to share your pain with someone. But a co worker is not an ideal person, no matter what. Sharing your problem with a coworker may only lead to gossip mongering and some times colleagues may have to take sides and they start avoiding you to avoid any embarrassments. This looks very ugly. To put the matter in a nutshell, have some patience. The healing procedure may take time since you meet your Ex every day. Give it some time. Do not lose your calm and lastly respect your Ex. You may end up having a better professional relationship with your Ex than before.
