There are difficult parents who show lack of concern for their child and cause emotional, physical and verbal abuse making the life of their offspring miserable. Dealing with abusive parents can be stressful and damaging and if you are stuck with these kinds of parents, here are some really useful tips that will enable you to handle them in the right manner.
Recognize triggers and bite back your tongue
If you are able to identify what makes your parents (it can be certain situations, words or actions) terribly off, you can stay away from these trigger factors. By spotting the trigger factors, you will be able to get away from physical and verbal abuses to a great extent. At least the gravity of abuse will be lessened. It will be great if you can find a safe haven at your home and avoid staying in places where you are mistreated often. Never shout back at your parents, probably that is what they want to exacerbate the abuse. Never fall prey of their tactics. Conduct yourself like a fine adult and remain composed and silent. Silence, in most cases, makes an abusive parent calm. Screaming and arguing back at them will only aggravate the situation.
Have a peaceful talk with your parents at an appropriate time
Make your stand clear with your parents when they are in good mood. Prepare for a peaceful talk with your parents to help them understand how badly they hurt you and you are not willing to undergo this abuse anymore. You can even choose a neutral setting such as a restaurant for this meeting. This mature way of making them hear your problems may help you if they are ready to hear. Ensure that you are stating the issues clearly and calmly without running into tears and bursting out into anger. Let your parents also understand that if they continue to put you down and mistreat, they will soon be losing all contact with you. Remain cool if they try to irritate you and are not ready to give an attentive ear. If your parents have no desire to make things better, they may continue to behave more abusively and then you are forced to consider more serious actions.
Take the help of trusted adults
If talking to your parents make matters worse, do not hesitate to seek the help of a reliable adult; your teacher, counselor, a sympathetic relative, or a good friendâs parent. Seeking help is necessary since it is difficult to fight this battle alone. If you are raped, bruised or emotionally misused, share it with your psychotherapist at school. He will be the best person to authoritatively talk to your parents regarding the need to stop this abuse and your parents will be forced to heed to his words. A family counselor can arrange a session with your parents to tell the importance of having a loving and healthy bond with you. Experiences show that most of the abusive parents have the ability to modify their behaviors with help, counseling and support. Sharing your bitter experiences with a good friend will help you to release some of the frustrations sourness. Even though your friend may not be able to do anything about it, it is better to inform about abusive parents to someone. The moral support you get from a friend is of much value. If the abuse becomes unbearable and agonizing, do not hesitate to call police since it is your right to be treated with care.
Lay down healthy boundaries with abusive parents
Setting healthy boundaries with abusive parents is necessary to protect you from further abuse and hurts. In order to ensure your safety, there is nothing wrong in moving to a trusted friendâs house. If you can manage some money, move to a different house. You can even go to your friendâs house after school to stay away from the eyes of provocative parents as long as you can. If you fail to get the much needed respect as a human being from your parents, stand up for yourself. It is not possible to let them emotionally and physically abuse you, put you down, and insult you. Your self esteem is at stake and hence, it is wise to distance yourself from them. When you decide to move, you need to have a backup plan. This is very important to ensure that while you run away from you parents you are not opening up a door where someone else will get a chance to do the same damage to you. Keep aside some money to support yourself when you are preparing to stay away from home. You need to be prepared to face the consequences with confidence. Empower yourself with the right decisions and choices. Seek admission in a boarding school or try to get some scholarships or other financial allowances so that you will not feel lost. Come out from the victim status and move out as a fully responsible adult.
Strive to move ahead in a positive way
Since you have made efforts to talk to your parents and sort things out, you can feel relieved at the thought that you have already given them an opportunity to behave as nice parents. Remember that you did not choose your parents. Never blame yourself and get tangled in low self esteem. Your parents have been emotionally or physically offending you without any grounds. It might be because of some of their bitter childhood experiences or the hardships they have passed through when they were your age. Your parents have become like this possibly due to lack of a role model to show them good parenting skill. Never try to hit them or hurt them. Stay strong and stay true to your values and ethics.
