Behavior Guide

How to deal with a strong willed child

Raising a strong willed kid is a very tough task. So, it is important for you to know the tips to handle strong willed children correctly. Here we have given some of them.

Make clear rules

Strong willed children show extreme tantrums in getting their things done. Parents often find themselves helpless in such situations. Thus, they end up in agreeing to whatever their kids want. In such situations kids realize that parents do not expect anything from them. Rather, they are at a liberty of making their parents do whatever they wish.

Giving in to the demands of kids every time is detrimental. But objecting your kid will mean getting into direct confrontation with your kid. It will create a fuss in home. So, set strict rules of parenting without using verbal instructions. Let your kid realize what is expected from he or she. These strict rules will create a feeling in the kid that there is hardly any option to cross the limit. Thus, the child will never ever think of asking you something he or she is not permitted to do. Such a rule will act as a behavior modification tool.

Analyze wishes

Kids, in general, express undue wishes. This case is even more severe in case of strong willed kids. These kids would do anything to get their wishes fulfilled. It is too autocratic to turn down every wish your kid makes. It might create a barrier between the two of you and make your kid more obstinate. Rather, it is important to realize if the wish is a constructive one or destructive. If you find that it is a positive wish but it is not the proper time or situation to give in to the wish then act politely. Crushing the wish altogether might mean crushing the kid’s positive energy too. So, explain to the child that you appreciate. But you will only let him or her follow the same in proper time. But be stern enough to put down any undue wish right away.

Ignore irritability

Strong willed kids are cleverer than normal kids. They know how to get their work done. So, they show irritability as their major weapon for the purpose. Parents find it impossible to avoid this irritability. So, they give in to their demands. The best way to handle this irritability in strong willed kids is to remain indifferent to such behavior. It is advised that you should not even scold or beat your kid in such situations. Any kind of reaction will give your kid the message that you are responding to the irritability. Hence, he or she will capitalize on that and show further tantrums. But indifference in your attitude will make all his or her effort go futile. Consequently, the kid will stop showing irritability after some time.

Never compare

Strong willed kids become more violent and adamant when they are compared with other kids of similar ages. Thus, situations become even more difficult for parents to handle strong willed kids.

Comparing your stubborn kid with another kid brings to the forefront the drawbacks of the kid. As it is, a strong willed kid is well aware of its attitude. Thus, comparison acts as a bolt from the blue. It gives rise to inferiority complex and frustration in the kid. Therefore, in order to overcome this complex the kid becomes even stronger willed. So, be curt and show your kid what is right and what is wrong. Never ever resolve in comparing between kids.

Help your kid

Strong willed kids suffer from extreme frustration. Thus, they reflect this frustration by means of behavioral expressions like tantrums, destructive attitude, crying, screeching shouts, etc. Such behaviors make them further unpopular and difficult to control.

Instead of being authoritative and showing strictness it is always better to be cooperative with your kid too. Try to read the mind of your kid and analyze the reason of frustration. Majority of the kids do not know how to tackle frustration. It is your duty to help you kid in such occasions. Assist the child in countering the situation. This is also a part of behavioral training for a strong willed kid. It should be practiced when your kid is not at the peak of irritability. Select a time when he or she is calm and quiet. Try to win the kid’s support by being a friend at times.

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Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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