We all know that anger can be a really destructive emotion. It can show adverse effects on your health and if you are unable to deal with your anger skillfully, then it can affect virtually every other aspect of your life including relationships and career.
Understand your anger
You can deal with your anger effectively only when you know what you are really angry about. Obviously, you can look for the solution only when you are aware of the problem. Once you understand your anger, dealing with it becomes much easier. It has been observed that in some of the cases secondary factors such as stress, depression and sleep deprivation can make you feel irritable, however, in most of the cases there is a more specific reason for anger. Either way, maintaining an anger journal can make you more aware of the reason behind your anger. This anger journal is record of all those activities and incidents that makes you angry throughout the day. You just have to follow this routine for few weeks and then discuss your problems with your good friend. You can even give a thought to seeing a therapist who can be very helpful in uncovering underlying sources of anger in you. You can also discuss with your therapist about the steps to deal with your anger.
Constructively express yourself
Expressing yourself and your feelings is of utmost importance if you really want to deal with your anger. Studies have shown that expressing your feelings and writing about anger is one of the most constructive ways of reducing negative mood and even the pain associated with it, especially if the writing leads to the speculation into the causes of the anger. Several other studies conducted on the benefits of journaling supports the idea of writing down your feelings. The reason behind the effectiveness of this technique is the fact that once you have written down everything that bothers you, then you will certainly think of âdoingâ something with your anger, otherwise, youâll end up feeling even more frustrated. The idea is that you donât have to let your anger make you feel bad, just work on the causes and you will certainly feel better.
You cannot get rid of your anger simply by avoiding the causes behind it, you have to eliminate the root otherwise, it will continue bothering you. Your anger is telling you something. The steps discussed above for the first part of the anger management technique which basically focuses upon examining and listening to what your anger is telling you about your life, whereas, the next part focuses on taking the necessary action. Understanding the reasons which are making you angry can go a long way, but fixing problems and eliminating your anger triggers is also equally important. It may happen that all those things which make you feel angry couldnât be eliminated completely from your life, but still, if you are able to take effective measures against some of your anger triggers, then also you will feel much better.
You wonât be able to get anything by ruminating on your anger, in fact, it will make you feel even worse. Studies have even shown that the risk of experiencing higher blood pressure increases significantly in those people who have a habit of ruminating over the incidents which made them angry in their past. This leads to other more severe health problems. It is definitely good idea if you are trying to solve the problem. However, stewing in your anger is totally a different issue. You need to understand the difference between these two cases.
Don’t over talk it
Discussing about your feelings and the reasons behind your anger may seem to be quite straight forward task. However, this is not as simple as it appears to be. Discussing your feelings and talking about your anger with your friends is effective only up to a certain point. This habit can strengthen your relationship and help you better understand your feelings. However, if you over talk about it, then it is quite certain that youâll end up with an increased level of stress hormones in your blood which will eventually make you feel worse. It is recommended to talk about a particular situation only once if you are using this habit as a strategy to deal with your anger and at the same time try to explore feelings and the solution to your problem. It may be a good idea to schedule a few sessions with your therapist if you want to talk a lot about all those things which makes you feel angry.