One can never simply live life by fixed rules and so is the case with relationships. You can never apply your rules to make your relationships successful. When it comes to close relationships, you only have to be more concerned and loving towards your partner. However, there are certain basic ingredients of a successful relationship that each one of us must either strive for or avoid.
Things You Might Be Doing Wrong
Love relationship is not about togetherness and bonding of a day but of a pretty long time, and sometimes a lifetime. We call it eternal togetherness and it demands efforts from both the partners. Some habits and activities interfere with and hamper this eternal togetherness between couples. A couple must know what those habits and activities are that harm the eternal bond because knowing them is the best way to avoid them.
1. You do not plan trips together
Planning and going out on trips together strengthens the bond that a couple shares. Be it a small day out or a big trip you go for on vacation, they are necessary and one must make such plans quite regularly. Such trips kind of breathing new life into a relationship.
2. You do not appreciate each other
Some couples with time stop appreciating each other, be it appreciating each other’s looks, nature, behavior, way of dressing, or any other aspect for that matter. This is one of the biggest mistakes couples make, which directly attacks their eternal togetherness, making it vulnerable to vanish. Appreciation is a must.
3. You consider imperfections more and perfections less
When you fall in love with someone, you tend to ignore their imperfections and all you see is their perfections. After some time, the focus is shifted to imperfections and you start ignoring your partner’s perfections, which often cause conflicts and arguments between couples. The best way you can cure such a situation is to force yourself to consider perfections, things, and abilities that your partner possesses rather than to focus abilities that they do not possess. Learn to appreciate whatever you have got in your lot.
4. You allow your ego and work to come in between
Ego is the worst culprit that eats away happiness and the charm of a relationship. To be happy and in love with each other in a relationship, you must keep your ego aside and should never let it overpower you. Another thing that sometimes destroys and shakes a relationship is work when one or both the partners let their work come in the way of their relationship and their bond.
You must understand that both work and love are equally important in life, so come what may, you have to strike a balance between both, or else suffer from weakness and unhappiness in your relationship.
How to Make Your Relationship Long Lasting
Good relationships do not just happen. It takes a lot of time and patience to make them work, and then some more to make them last. Primarily, it takes two people who truly want to be together and work on it with sincerity and dogged determination.
Communication is the key to everything. No matter how difficult the subject matter, dedicate yourselves to talking it through. Talk about your problems and discuss them openly before it is too late. Just like a small fire that started from a single matchstick can burn down an entire forest, a small mistake can annihilate the whole relationship unless it is dealt with appropriately in due time.
Sometimes it may mean saying “yes you are right, my love,” even when you are not entirely sure if that is true. Look closely at why an argument or a fight began in the first place. There are always ways to resolve issues and problems.
Show affection at every opportunity. From the simple act of saying thank you for expressing your appreciation to kissing your partner for something special that he or she did, showing affection conveys to your partner that you are grateful for each other’s action and supportive of each other’s efforts. Do not lose any opportunity to show your partner that you are thankful for everything that they have done for you. This could mean showering your partner with gifts or staying in touch during the day when you are apart.
Support your partner when things go wrong outside the relationship. This could mean a lost job, a fight with someone or any other reason that might be troubling your partner. Make sure you let them know that you will be there for them despite everything that happens outside your inner circle of love. Likewise, if they love you even through all the ups and downs you’ve been through together, you have something special and this something special is that unique ingredient which solidifies a good relationship to an everlasting one.
A decision to spend your life together must not have a compulsion to be alike. Do not impose yourself on your partner. It is not necessary for a couple to have similar likings when it comes to everyday life. Having exactly the same taste in food, clothing, music or movies does not make you a happy couple. At the same time do not expect your partner to agree with you all the time, celebrate the difference of opinion, they say opposite attracts.
Accept your partner for who they are and what they are. Do not try to change them, or expect them to change in order to suit your needs and desires. Loving someone means accepting a person’s strengths and flaws and understanding that everyone comes as a package with these things included. Once you realize how important acceptance is, the relationship will automatically move forward in a positive direction and grow from within.
Try to look for a partner who is honest with you at each step of life. Honesty has to be the base of each relationship since it strengthens the bond you have with your partner. It gives you that special corner in your partner’s heart, which adds a new spark to your life. An honest and loving relationship keeps you together with all your life.
Be honest about your feelings for each other in every possible way. This does not mean we have to be harsh about how we express those feelings and relay our expectations to the partner. Respect the fact that the other person may be putting his or her trust in you wholeheartedly. Do not break that trust because broken trust is one of the hardest things to mend and can take years. This also means that we should learn to love our partner sincerely and not cheat on them with someone else. Nothing breaks down a relationship faster than infidelity and can permanently close doors that were once open to mutual respect.
6. Don’t Forget Physical Intimacy
One of the leading reasons why couples cheat on each other is lack of affection as it once was when they first met. The need to feel desired by the opposite sex does not go away just because people get married and have kids. Learn to make your sex life more intimate and fulfilling. Not only will this reduce a lot of stress, it will also go a long way in reinforcing the bonds of a relationship. Even sex isn’t good enough, make sure that you be more intimate in other ways.
7. Strive to be open
Share your feelings with your loving partner and make him/her feel comfortable to do so. Do not hide anything from your partner as it only worsens things. You must not take a risk in a close relationship; it is the base of your happiness. In some cultures, men find it hard to express their true emotions, which take their relationships in the wrong direction. Who says men don’t have feelings to share or they don’t feel pain when they are hurt, express your true self to your partner.
When you know that things are going in the wrong direction, stop and think for a while. Do not let your habits or behavior patterns affect your close relationships and if at all it happens, work on them. At times, you must let your own happiness take a back seat and make decisions with mutual consent.
One must cultivate a habit to change since you can no longer give preference to things that were important to you when you were single. When you decide to take your relationship to yet another level it has to be conscious decisions since there is no looking back afterward. Once you have made up your mind change the way you look at your life. At each stage of life, you have to make changes accordingly. Getting married and having kids demand you to pay a little more attention to them. It does not mean that you cannot have your own space but you have to make time for your loved ones too.
10. See a friend in your lover
Treat your partner as one of your best friends since you always share your innermost feelings with them. It enables you to build mutual trust. Let your partner be the first one to know your true feelings. It is also important that you give the same liberty to your partner and respect him/her as an individual. You may get many people who can be there to share your happiness but only a true partner stands by you through thick and thin.
11. Treat your partner with love and respect
You may have differences with your partner and disagreements over everyday issues but do not use them as reasons to humiliate him/her. When you are going through a rough phase it is your love and respect for your partner that makes you strong. He/she is your better half but deserves respect as an individual and one should never compromise with this aspect of a relationship.
The decision to spend his/her whole life with you can be one of the biggest reasons to value him/her. Respect his/her feelings and always make important decisions of your life with the mutual agreement since your decisions affect the life of your partner too.
13. See them as another human being
Your life does not revolve around you anymore; give importance to your partner too. Look at him/her as another person who has feelings, emotions, fears, and passions. Give him/her his/her space. Do not impose your own decisions on him/her as it instigates dullness among relationships.
When you start a new life together, you chose to work together to reach common goals. However, it does not mean that you individual plans have to take a back seat. Set your individual and common goals, and support each other at each step. The success of your partner in his/her individual goal must be a reason for you to celebrate.
15. Make time when you two can be alone
You cannot expect things and relationship to remain the same. Time changes so do your relationship for good or for bad. Make sure you do not lose the charm of the first meeting when you found it hard to take your eyes off him/her. Make time for each other when two of you can be alone and speak your heart out. Go shopping together, grab a quick cup of coffee, or spend time preparing dinner together.
16. Take pride to walk hand in hand
People may describe it as a show-off at times but it has a psychological relevance to it. When you walk hand in hand with your partner, you strengthen your bond. Take pride when you two are together taking a walk or shopping grocery. It takes nothing but a moment to kiss a goodbye when you are leaving your home for office.
17. Empathize and get to know them better
You must try to know your partner to the core. Learn to understand what he/she is trying to say even before he/she utters up the word. With time, you become well aware of the liking and disliking of your partner, use this information to give him/her beautiful surprises on a daily basis. Do not let your relationship get monotonous; make it a habit to surprise your partner.
18. Learn to trust and forgive
You must trust your partner regardless of anything else. Communicate with your partner openly and keep no space for misunderstandings. It is necessary that you do not hold a grudge against him/her even when he/she makes a mistake, learn to forgive.
There may be times when we feel our partner does not love us the same way they used to earlier. Do not fret and lose hope because this may just mean that the initial infatuation has given way to a deeper emotional connection. Fall in love with a person who loves you for you. True relationships not only make you strong to face adversities of life but also give you hope that things will fall in place eventually.