A new romantic relationship opens doors to a positive future. But at times, your boyfriend’s ex may come back to haunt you by trying to sabotage your relationship to get him back. So, follow these steps to deal with an ex clinging to your boyfriend.
Discuss the reason
Whenever you enter into a romantic relationship, you must ask your boyfriend about the reason behind his breakup with his ex. Did they breakup because of irreconcilable differences? Was anyone of them cheating on another? Did they breakup because they used to fight a lot or because they grew apart over a period of time? Was the breakup mutual? Such questions may help you understand the reason behind the breakup between your boyfriend and his ex. We don’t want you to go and ask these questions blatantly, what we want you to do is to talk to your boyfriend and discuss these issues. This will help you understand the nature of their relationship and the steps you must take to keep your relationship healthy and loving. While discussing these issues, don’t blame your boyfriend or his ex for the reason behind their breakup. Also, don’t push your boyfriend too hard to discuss the matter as some issues might be too sensitive. A sensitive and positive approach towards the issue will help you know why the ex is clinging to your boyfriend.
Talk to the ex
If your boyfriend’s previous relationship lasted for a long time, then there are high chances that his ex-girlfriend may have trouble in letting him go. So, it would be better if you have a ‘girl-talk’ with this ex. Since, you know the reasons behind their breakup, you can talk her and tell her why your boyfriend won’t patch up with her. Confrontation is a good way of telling the ex that everything between the ex and your boyfriend is over. Tell her that you would appreciate it if she didn’t call or try to meet your boyfriend. If this ex has been trying to show you in bad light to get back to your boyfriend, then you must politely ask her to stop playing her tactics. You can ask your boyfriend to be a part of this confrontation wherein he can clearly tell the ex that their relationship is over. But make sure that you don’t lose your cool, talk politely and give respect. Remember that all exes are not crazy and that this ex might actually be having a problem in dealing with the breakup. So, be kind and courteous.
If the ex is a friend
Well, firstly you must never get into a relationship with a guy who broke up with your friend. But, if your boyfriend’s ex is your friend, then you must decide the way to deal with the ex depending upon your degree of friendship with her. If this ex is not a good friend of yours, then you both can end your ties or stay as acquaintances. But make sure that you clear everything out with the ex so that she doesn’t insults you in your common group. If the ex is your very good friend, then you try to explain her that you really love your boyfriend and that you are sorry that she broke up with him. Be kind to the ex as she is your friend and you must respect her feelings. You can help her overcome the stress associated with the breakup so that she doesn’t pester your boyfriend and sabotage your relationship.
If the ex is a co-worker, don’t get obsessed
There may be a possibility that your boyfriend and his ex are co-workers. In such a situation, you must trust your boyfriend. Remember, that you can’t rule him and ask him to quit job or stop talking to the ex. If they are co-workers, then they may have to talk and maintain a professional relationship. In such a situation, you must talk to your partner and ask him to reassure you that the relationship will always remain professional. Once, this is done, you have to trust your boyfriend and understand the need of the hour. If you become too obsessed about his ex, then you might end up harming your own relationship. Instead of feeling insecure, feel confident that your man won’t go back to the ex.
Get a restraining order
Some ex-girlfriends might actually get crazy. In rare situations, an ex may be obsessed about your boyfriend. So, she may stalk him. An ex may also force your boyfriend to meet her, may threaten him or may present suicidal tendencies. If the ex is stalking your boyfriend or threatening you or him, then you must get a restraining order so that she is legally bound. This will also ensure that she doesn’t stalk or stay around your boyfriend all the time. If this ex has suicidal tendencies, then you must ask for professional help. You can get support of your common friends who can help her to seek counseling services for her behavior. At times, involving friends can help you to solve the situation. But make sure that you tell your boyfriend about your plans of getting a restrain order or professional help, so that he is not baffled by your activities.
