It has often been reiterated by philosophers as well as informally educated, self enlightened ascetics of the orient that, if you cannot forgive then the person occupies a rent free space in your mind. However, this is way easier said than done since most of us are mired in rigmaroles of day to day life that are more often than not, our handiwork, and seldom have time to set aside for the fulfilling purpose of forgiving and regaining the bliss that stems from the art of forgetting. The following shall emphasise on the importance of the aforementioned and is quite contrastingly different from the asinine nothings that one can get a-penny-a-pound on any site on the internet.
Before the crux of the matter is reached and we delve further into the subconscious proclivity towards hatred it is important that the reader reaches into his own mind and tries to connect with the subjectivity of the thought that is going to be addressed. If you are a cynic, and it is alright to be, it would be well advised to keep aside any doggerel that is on mind and keep from branding whatever has to be said as drivel; for being prejudiced and having a preconception will only achieve broken bones from punching walls because, you will not have a logical rebuttal to whatever is going to be said before it has been said, will you?
The art of forgiving has to be learnt with patience and experience and never truly happens overnight regardless of what might be said about the incompetency of the person to master the subject. To forgive is similar to the understanding of any scientific or humanitarian paradigm. It takes months and days of religious meditation on the subject either qualitatively or quantitatively or both. To elucidate much more clearly, to forgive someone in person, practically, is equivalent to reading and understanding some amount of literature on forgiveness. So , if you, the reader has had previous experiences of forgiving and moving ahead, he or she shall find whatever this essay has to say, much more easier to comprehend.
Adding a corollary to the previous point, it must be also mentioned that there are different stages of forgiving. One should not feel dismayed when he or she finds it hard to forgive someone after the person has stolen some family heirloom because he or she forgave someone for stealing a candy bar. Forgiving is, in essence, a battle with one’s self. The other part of your self, the one that tells you to exact vengeance for some injustice that has befallen you is, you have to understand, leading you into an unending cycle of events that shall only include, getting back at someone and that other person getting back at you.
There are a few things that can be mentioned without much foresight and analysis that prevents you from forgiving someone. Things that are your brainchild and only you can work for their obliteration. It is very easy to imagine a world where the injustice that has been done to you has not taken place and the resulting effects are very conspicuous changes in that world of another dimension from the real one. But, quoting from a Harry Potter book, “Life is always about doing what is easy and what is right.” Now, asking someone to do something right may seem hollow at first glance but what it really means is, to perform the action that is the correct result of all the previous actions that led up to that point in life where one has the option of doing something that has cleared your conscience or something that shall weigh on it for the rest of your life.
To put it simply, two and two shall always and inevitably make four even if you want it and therefore proclaim it to be, five. Moreover, it is not a proclamation that shall in everyone’s mind become the truth if it is said over and over and again, according to the infamous saying by Joseph Goebbels, the Reich minister of propaganda of Nazi Germany. Living in a world where all is fine and dandy, where every thing falls into place is actually a world that has to be achieved and simply cannot be expected to happen to someone. It can be achieved by wisdom that is gained after every experience as well as by the correct amount of logic that can make up for any shortfall in wisdom. And it is wisdom that is gained after every episode of injustice that prevents a person from having to suffer that particular brand of discrimination ever again; also if the person has foresight, he or she can extrapolate that knowledge to prevent other incidences as well, thereby preventing the amount of hate from burgeoning in a runaway manner. Frankly, a lesser amount of hate is easier to deal with than a greater amount.
Next, whatever has been said, does not really apply to sociopaths for they are pathologically incapable of feeling, something that should not be held against them. You would not hold it against a paraplegic for not being able to walk, so why would you, against sociopaths? That being said, it is better not to open your soul to them as well. Thus, if you have been discretionary in selecting the people that you interact with, then the person causing you the discomfort feels remorse on some level even if he or she is willing to dispute it. Forgive them for they obviously realise their mistake.
Finally comes the question of forgetting. It is not possible to forget i.e. remove from the memory banks, an incident that has happened to you. What is possible is to live with it. It is surely the case that, you remember each and every incident of import that has taken place throughout your life without harbouring any feelings of animosity or exhilaration. And those that do still invoke any amount of emotion are things like your marriage or the day that you proposed or received your college degree, in short, things that are worthy of remembrance.
These are the things that should occupy space in your greatest memory disk, your mind. Not spam and viruses that are obstinate enough to indulge your tolerance. To relegate them to a cold and secluded corner in your mind until they are forgotten about but exist is what should be done. This opens up your mind to receive and store greater amounts of happier times that would have passed you by without notice but was worthy of storage.
