Guide to dealing with narcissist child and other behavioral problems

Children show up various behavioral problems which can really be a tough parenting task. If not handled timely, they can be a real problem later in different phases of growing up. The guide gives you a good understanding in dealing with various problematic aspects of children in their growing phase.

To start with, take the case of dealing with a narcissist child. Narcissistic character in terms of psychology is the one who is self absorbed. It is very important to properly deal with a narcissistic child as it is easy to rectify this behavior in younger ages. Narcissistic people have an urge of power, recognition and adoration. Virtues like loyalty, gratitude, and empathy are unknown to him. Here are some ways that can help you deal with a narcissistic child.

Understand and love

mother and child affection

Understand the needs of your child. Praise him judiciously whenever he does something good. Narcissistic child has an unrealistically positive view of his worth, which can develop a sense of high self esteem and superiority in him. Try to talk with him. Let him communicate his feelings and emotions as it will help you have an idea what is going within his realm. Teach him about love, empathy and affection. Spend quality time with him so that the moments shared together can help you bond more strongly with him. Do not criticize him about his behavior as it may hurt his sentiments leaving him puzzled. Eventually he may end up turning a deaf ear at you.

Healthy upbringing

Most children develop narcissistic character according to the environment they face at home. An over spoiled kid, who is used to excessive spending and attention, may find trouble finding true meaning in any accomplishment. On the contrary, if the parents force their child to achieve certain goals and behave in a certain manner in order to satisfy any unfulfilled need in them, then the personality of the child gets affected. He may sacrifice his own self expression in order to gain parental approval and acceptance. This also effects the proper development of his personality. Parents should ensure to provide healthy environment and reasonable boundaries. Remain consistent in enforcing these expectations so that your child can develop best. Give him an environment which fosters independence and healthy self worth in him.

Let them develop naturally

keeping child under strict vigil

Parents with a narcissistic child should let him develop naturally. Let him make mistakes and learn from them. Do not try to control each and every aspect of his life. If you think that keeping your child under strict vigil would help dealing with their narcissistic behavior, then you are just worsening the situation. The more you will let him free, the lesser is the risk of shunting the natural development of his childhood and adolescence. Dealing with your child with perseverance is the key to living a happy and productive life. Whenever you find your child showing narcissistic behavior, talk to him and make him understand the passionate ways of life. It is always advisable to demonstrate empathy when dealing with your child. Show your love and affection to your child.

Make him aware of his negative feelings

You can help your child understand his negative feelings and how to deal with it. Talk to him about it whenever you get an opportunity. He will never understand that he is suffering from some emotional disorder. Even if he has a clue about it, he may find it difficult to acknowledge. He might fear how he will be perceived. Thus, your trust and encouragement can help him deal and resolve the negative emotions effectively. Parents can help the child to detach from his emotions. Teach him to take responsibility for his actions, outbursts and face the consequences accordingly. Do not let him cultivate a habit of blaming it all on other people. Only parents can help their narcissistic child successfully develop into a caring person who could be trusted and is capable of fulfilling relationships with others.

Social lessons

loving family

You can work on different social lessons and get your child involved in the same. Make him understand that he plays a significant role in the society and vice versa. Indulge him in works that pay delayed rewards as it will condition him to put efforts without thinking about instant rewards. Teach him about real crisis as well as small issues in everyone’s life.

This will help them understand the emotional state of other people and empathize with them. Persuade and acknowledge him for exhibiting genuinely good behavior as it will facilitate the development of a healthier sense of ego. He must learn that everyone is special in one way or the other and must be respected and acknowledged for the same. Respect his thoughts and feelings so that he could learn to respect in return.

How to deal with a problem child

A problem child poses a difficult challenge for parents. Such a child affects the entire household, especially if he’s not able to control his anger. Here we have given some ways to deal with a problem child.

Look out for your child’s behavior

child's behavior

Prior to labeling a child as problem child, it is to be made certain that a parent understands what this term actually means. Children are difficult to handle at certain stages of their life and this thing is quite normal for almost every parent. However, the problem children usually adopt a behavior of seeking independence as they look forward to explore the world around. When such children grow up and enter their teens, this stage becomes more distinctive. These kids continue to show an unmanageable and unusual behavior for quite a long time. These children do not show respect towards other people, especially adults and are very argumentative in their behavior towards them. These children express their frustration and anger through a lot of aggression which proves to be difficult for everyone around.

Parenting care and concern

Even if your kid is behaving really abnormally and is getting out of your control, always remember your love, care and concern would prove to be a remedy for all such problems. No matter how difficult the situation has already become, love and concern could prove to be truly beneficial for you and your kid. Speak to them, evaluate their problems and look for all the loopholes in your parenting and your kid’s understanding so as to reach a consensus. There is always a solution for such problems; the only important thing is to deal them with patience and extreme precaution. More patience you show, as a parent, to such problems, better resolutions you are likely to get.

Try to manage their tantrums

child-tantrum

Problem children usually find it very difficult to manage and control their emotions. Such kids, if in their toddler age, express their frustration by showing various temper outbursts. Therefore, as a parent one has to learn managing such tantrums and outbursts so as to control the frustration and aggression of their problem children. However, one should always remember that certain tantrums are quite normal in the development of a child and usually shows up from the first year of age until three. In normal children, such tantrums usually stop once they reach the age of four years. However, problem children continue to show such behavior and this is where the parenting issues take place. There are different reasons for these tantrums. Mostly, such behaviors are exhibited by children who feel it difficult to express their feelings via words. Possibly, such children are not able to resolve their problems on their own and it leads to frustration.

Communicate well

Proper and timely communication is a useful key when dealing with a problem child. It is quite natural for such kids to react quickly to certain issues. It is a known fact that many parents find, at one stage or the other, that something which they have done or are currently doing is responsible for the behavior of their child. If you find the same, then you can surely take steps to rectify the situation. Listen to what your kid has to say and then decide to take steps to help them resolve the problem effectively. You will never be able to understand your kids problems if you don’t communicate well with them. Talking to your problem child on an equal playing field can also be helpful in proper flow of communication and building trust. Trust is very important when dealing with such kids. Also, never get discouraged; keep trying even though it may be frustrating to deal with your problem kid at various instances.

Trust the parent in you

Trust the parent in you

It is really important to trust your parental impulse, especially towards a problem child. If, at some stage, it feels to you that your child might have got addicted to something injurious, take immediate steps, as many difficult kids fall prey to such things. If you seem to think that they are doing things that they told you they wouldn’t do anymore, they just might be. While it is important to trust your kid, don’t take certain problems lightly. Do follow your instincts and communicate with your kid appropriately. This might solve the problems and improve your kid’s life faster. Your support, care and love will always prove to be a quick remedy and calm their behavior.

How to deal with spoiled children

Dealing with narcissist and spoiled children is not all. You may have to deal with spoiled children as well. The emergence of a materialistic culture has taken a toll on your child also. These children demand branded clothes, expensive gaming devices or latest models of cell phones from their parents. Many parents comply with the demands of their children simply because they have a single child. But one should remember that giving in to their demands will only spoil them and this will harm them later in their professional and personal lives. Therefore, having an idea of dealing with spoiled children is beneficial in bringing up the child.

Set limits for your child

dealing with spoiled child

Setting limits for your children is a good way of preventing them from getting spoiled. You should make them understand the limits of their demands that you will fulfill. Sticking to this idea will make them take your resolve seriously. Consistency is the key word when dealing with spoiled children. Your child may show tantrums but do not give in to their wishes. This will only make them realize that on showing tantrums, you will readily accept their demands. Maybe your child will be angry with you or stop talking. But don’t be disturbed. Children forget easily. They will become normal after some time. The lesson however will teach them to curb their demands.

Get them involved in charitable works

You can involve your child with some charitable organization. This will make them realize that getting their unwanted demands fulfilled is not the sole aim of their lives. There are less fortunate children of their age, who do not have their basic needs fulfilled. This will make them realize how blessed they are with parents who always fulfill their wishes. Taking them out on weekends to children without a shelter or similar charitable causes will help in curbing their spoilt nature.

Get the child involved in household work

Get the child involved in household work

Making your child do household work is another way of ensuring that he does not become a spoilt brat. You may begin with simple jobs. This job may take 5mins for you to complete, but your child will do it in fifteen minutes. However, make the child do the job. This will stop their mind from thinking about what next to demand from you. This will inculcate in him a sense of responsibility.

How to deal with children with behavior problems

There are many children who are simply out of control and have great problems in their attitude. They try to be independent and strive to prove that they are not a baby anymore. But for a parent it is a herculean task to deal with children who have problems in their behavior. But if certain methods/principles are followed then very soon you will find that behavior problems in children can be tackled rather easily.

  1. Withdrawing privileges

child correction technique

This is probably the most popular behavior shaper that are used by parents to rein in children who have behavioral problems. This is a very effective correction technique but the child must be able to connect the privilege withdrawal with his behavior so that wrong behavior is never repeated in the future. Say for instance, if your little one is riding a tricycle on a busy road against your wish then just take that thing away from him/her for 2 weeks. This will make him/her understand that a mistake has been done. But this method of withdrawing privileges can only successfully work when such steps has been pre-decided in a family meeting.

  1. Follow the house rules

During negotiations, your child must listen to your commands and show respect to you. If he starts yelling or display disrespectful behavior, then you must remind him that as a parent you ‘demand’ respect from him and make him understand that this is a non-negotiable fact. You may become very vulnerable during negotiations but don’t ever let your authority slip away!

  1. Written reminders

reminders on the fridge

Like it or not, there are many children who do not like being told what to do at every step. They simply cannot tolerate any sort of verbal instructions. Though this is usually a passing phase, you must not accept his demands right away. You may stop giving verbal instructions but develop another method to let your child know about your expectations from him. In order to avoid a direct face-off, it is always advisable to write small notes with instructions and reminders and stick on the fridge or on the table in his room. The child will know what is expected of him and will start behaving accordingly.

Controlling a child with behavior problems is not very difficult but you must deal with them tactfully and never let them understand that you have lost your authority or if you are unsure of anything.

Dr Prem Jagyasi and Team

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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