It is definitely not a bad idea to help a needy friend. However, we all have many problems in our lives and if a certain person seems to be always needy and land up discussing it with you, taking your precious time and energy, then you need to sit up and think as to what has to be done. Here are some ways to deal with needy friends without hurting their sentiments.
Understand the personâs mental makeup
There are certain people who are always in need of help, suggestions, advice and what not. These are the people who lack self confidence and do not have the energy or courage to do anything according to their instincts. They will always pester others to help them out and keep nagging them to help or intervene in their affairs. When you are the best of friends and when you have all the time in the world, this may not seem like a humongous task. But if the needy friend is a co worker and approaches you all the time, it can tamper with your work commitments and you will lose a lot of precious time and energy guiding him. Try to give the person general guidelines so that he can become self dependent in such cases.
Help if you can
Whilst it is good to help a friend in need, it is always not necessary. The minute the needy friend senses that you are willing to help all the time, the neediness might increase and you will be in a fix. Therefore, while you help, it is also important to let the needy person know that he/she is occupying a lot of your time. Encourage the needy friend to take his/her own decisions and attain some skills if the needy friend approaches you mostly for work related issues. This will help the needy friend understand that you may not help him/her all the time and that you could be getting vexed with the constant needs that he/she is faced with. Be polite and gentle when you convey the message so that your needy friend does not get hurt.
Talk to the person if it upsets you
If your needy friend approaches you with more and more difficult situations and you start getting upset with this, you must not make the mistake of remaining quiet. Tell your needy friend that you are finding it difficult to spend time on his problems as you have work commitments to keep track of. Make him understand the importance of doing things on his/her own and attaining the necessary skills and qualifications if he/she feels that he/she is lacking in certain areas. If it is a personal issues that he is approaching you with, make him understand that there is a limit that you can interfere in his affairs and he/she must either learn to find his/her solutions or find someone else who has the time to lend a sympathetic ear. Do not be harsh while you convey this to the needy person as he/she may get hurt in the process. Make sure that you tell the needy person in a very matter of fact manner so that he/she does not feel bad.
Teach the needy person the importance of self confidence
It is a good idea to spend some time with your needy friend and give him/her a small session, defining the importance of self confidence in his/her life. Make the needy friend understand that at some point in his/her life, he/she will have to take his/her own decisions and support a family when being able to stand on his/her own is very important. Give the needy person some suggestions as to how he/she can improve and what needs to be done to avoid approaching others with questions, troubles and advices. This could take time, but if the needy friend is someone whom you care for deeply, this can help the needy friend in the long run.
Find a compatible friend for the needy person
Most needy people love to talk and understand othersâ problems and sufferings. They are also good listeners and love to spend time with others as well. If you know someone else who are similar personalities and someone who is in need of company, you can introduce your needy friend to that person. Who knows, this could be the beginning of a deep and rewarding friendship and the needy friend will always thank you for helping him/her find a wonderful friend who listens, supports and helps him in all possible ways.
