Miscarriage is the worst thing that can happen to a mother. The physical toll it takes on your body is something which will heal over a period of time. But the emotional aspects of miscarriage are there to stay with you for a much longer period. Miscarriages occur due to a lot of reasons; some of them are beyond your control. Coping with a miscarriage can be very difficult but facing your fears and sharing them can help you deal with it better.
Grieve for your lost child
The first step in dealing with your miscarriage is to grieve for your lost baby. Some think that displaying sorrow is a sign of weakness. However, this is far beyond from the truth. Crying, grieving and just letting go of all your emotions is the best and the most effective way of coping with your loss. Donât bottle up anything inside; remember that grieving after such a traumatic experience is a natural human response and you should not be ashamed to show it. There is no specific amount of time that a woman could take to get over her grief. It depends from person to person and also on the kind of support system the woman has. It is very important here for the family to give her the time she wants to get over her grief.
Don’t blame yourself
After getting over the initial loss of their unborn child, many women have been found to blame themselves for the miscarriage. Women start thinking that they must have done something wrong and that they did not take good care, so that’s why the miscarriage happened. They start finding fault in everything they did and even remember the smallest of details which they feel was the cause of miscarriage. What women need to realize is that sometimes miscarriages are a result of things beyond their control. Sudden medical emergencies of history of miscarriage in the family are also contributing factors. Women need to stay away from such thoughts and stop blaming themselves.
Find support
After a miscarriage women feel lost, alone and helpless. Give yourself time to get over these emotions as well. However, if you feel it is taking longer than usual for you to get over these feelings and that it has started to hamper your daily activities, then you need to seek help. The first point of support should be your husband, partner or your immediate family. You can also share you feelings with your close friends who can lend their shoulder for you to cry and help you get over your miscarriage. If, unfortunately, your family and friends are not around, you can contact a support group. Here you will get to meet many other women who have had the same unfortunate experience as you and sharing your feelings with them will help you deal with the miscarriage.
Things to do on your own
Although outside help is always there to help you during your moments of grief, there are many simple things you can do on your own to get over your miscarriage. Take a pen and paper or diary and write down all your feelings. This is an excellent way to let your emotions out. Your diary is a personal thing and you need not have any inhibitions and be completely honest with yourself. Take some time off work; go on a vacation to divert your mind away from your loss. Take up a hobby and keep yourself busy so you won’t have time to think about your loss. Donât think of miscarriage in a negative way. Do something positive such as planting a tree in memory of your unborn child.
The male side
We often forget that even though it is the mother who undergoes all the physical exertion of a miscarriage, the father also has to undergo the emotional upheaval. The male is expected to be by the side of his spouse and be her constant emotional support. But what about the emotional support that the father needs? Be considerate about his emotional needs too. Some men also find it difficult to talk about the situation, fearing what they say might upset you. Such an incident also strains a coupleâs relationship. Dealing with such a loss can make individuals turn away from one other. Yet, this is the time when you should come together and share your grief. Talking about it, although difficult, is very important. However, if you are unable to talk things out which each other, you should seek the help of a counselor.
