Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner and men are accused of cheating on their wives too often. Therefore, it is natural to ask yourself if men are the only ones to be blamed for this. Not necessarily in my humble opinion. A recent study revealed 18 percent of married women have cheated on their spouse. Men, however, seem to still outnumber the women—28 percent say they’ve cheated on their wives.
We are told that happy marriages are based on good communication, shared values and a sturdy support system of friends and relatives. In order to make this work as expected, several other factors like fair quarrelling and dogged determination to make the relationship work go a long way. Then again, you might find happily married people accusing each other of infidelity. Interestingly enough, marriage counselors all over the world report that 88 percent of men who’ve cheated said the other women were no better looking or in no better shape than their own wives. While this may be good news for the egos of those women who have been cheated on, it’s also confusing and brings us back to the age old question once again- Why exactly do men cheat on their wives?
This is how the story goes – Every man says he loves his partner, proposes to her one fine day and then goes on to get married to her in front of his whole family and friends. This goes on for few months or years, as they have kids together to paint a picture of eternal bliss in the household.
A couple of years down the line, the wife finds a suspicious message on his phone or finds out about some other ‘evidence’ that he may be cheating on her. All hell breaks loose and the very foundation of trust crumbles in a short time. This story could also be told the other way around where the woman cheats on her husband, but for the sake of this article let’s just focus on the original story and also give men a chance to defend themselves at the same time.
3 Million years of evolution have made men the way they are. The male-based instinct does not dry up and go away that easy. Forget about humans for a second and you will notice that even animals display this behavioral pattern. There is always the thrill of the chase and the excitement of being with someone new. It is like this really silent thing, everyone acknowledges it as a general practice but nobody likes to go beyond that and get down to the nitty-gritty of explaining all the dirty details.
People change over the years and not just psychologically. A man who has become physically less attractive, let’s say because he has developed a paunch over the years may not be getting the same kind of affection from his wife as he did when they first met. This leads to low self esteem and a need to feel desired again, despite his physical appearance. Combine all of the above factors and you will start to see why infidelity comes into the picture. An attractive woman at the workplace who might be giving the guy the right kind of ‘signals’ will undoubtedly entice him and it all goes downhill from there. They start talking to each other and the man will inherently compare the two women in his life in order to find what he may have been missing.
There are as many answers to these questions of infidelity, as there are people on this planet. To say that love has been lost is not the right answer. Respect may have been lost, yes, but not love.