How to deal with confrontation

Confrontation is best dealt by avoiding it. It is in fact a conflict of egos. With neither of the parties ready to give in, confrontation is sure to crops up. When reason is forsaken, confrontation takes over. Well, let us take a look at some of the ways to deal with this irritating habit.

Maintain your cool

Many men are unable to handle confrontation and start trembling. They tend to lose control over their thought and even their speech. Are you one of those people? Or are you the type who would rather escape from the scene? In either case, you should know that a little commonsense and some preemptive action can just defuse the situation, but may also result in something constructive and become a learning experience for you as well as the person with whom you are engaged in confrontation. Remember that it is the cool heads that prevail in the difficult situations. Anger becomes your greatest enemy. A fit of anger restrains you from arguing back to your advantage as it pumps adrenaline throughout the body and you feel like hitting your distract-er hard on his face. When provocative emotions are at play, you land yourself into bigger problems. So beware of such emotions. A deep breath before or in between the confrontation could play the magic. Follow this with slow breathing. This helps you in lowering your heartbeat and blood pressure. It also lowers the amount of adrenaline being circulated in the body, thus keeping you in a better frame of mind.

Shed your ego

Those with inflated ego are likely to feel the pinch the most. Do not confuse ego with self pride. Conceding a point has nothing to do with your self respect. Even a person using foul language may not disturb you if you do not feel hurt. Concede a point rather than fall into the pit. Do not take things personally. If you want him to allow you to disagree with him, then you too allow him to disagree with you. Know and realize that difference of opinion is not a personal criticism. Be prepared to correct yourself if you are at fault. Admit it if you are at fault. Do not hang on to your position just for the sake of wanting to be right. In a leadership position, this matters the most. It demonstrates your willingness to conceive the best for all concerned. In fact it goes much beyond and highlights your integrity. It shows that you are willing to accept better idea even if it is different from the one that you suggested.

Listen with patience

Conflicts arise because people have different perceptions. It is not unnatural that you and the other person look at the same thing differently. This is due to the uncommon background that people come from. So, try to recognize differing perspective. Hear the other person and appreciate his point of view. Appreciating his opinion is not to agree with him. It is like making him feel that you are trying to see his point of view. That way he might also try to see your point of view. Even if he doesn’t, then also do not get perturbed. At least you have done your bit. Utilize this time to arrange your thoughts. While you take time out to listen to him, you could frame your arguments and make your key points. Listening demonstrates the value of relationship you have for the person you are engaged with. It also spells out your compassion.

Avoid arguing

The purpose of an argument is to trap you and manipulate you into losing the argument. So don’t get carried over. Instead of being defensive or even aggressive, take charge of the process by committing to reach a resolution. See how it turn down the temperature immediately. At times it is better to concede a point and move onto the next.

Do not shy from asking questions

Most of the conflicts arise due to poor communication. When people fail to express what they meant or maybe misstated what they intended, conflict takes place. This could best be addressed by seeking answers. It is always a good idea to raise queries to clear doubts and to understand the actual meaning of what is being stated. Sometimes understanding of the situation also helps in understanding of the problem. Similarly, also try to analyze the expectations of the other person. A conversation could be stalled if one of the participants feel that he is not getting what he expected or things are not moving the way he wanted. So, ask him about his expectations and try to reason that out with him or her.

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Dr Prem Jagyasi and Team (C)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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