Learning about your husband’s extramarital affair can be the most shocking and heartbreaking chapter of your life. This might make you deal with the situation in an impulsive and inappropriate manner. But it’s important that you know and exercise the right way to deal when it comes to the other woman.
Do not confront her
This might be the first thought to occur in your mind after you get to know of your husband’s infidelity. The thought of confronting her might come back to you time and again. But resist doing so. If you confront her then that would only ignite a bad fight between you two. Remember, she does not owe an explanation to you or is not bound to even listen to your accusations and complaints. Confronting or threatening her can turn insulting for you and advantageous for her. She might utilize this opportunity to gain more sympathy from your husband and that might draw them further closer. So, however tempted you feel, ignore the temptation to confront her.
Realize the difference between you and her
You must understand the difference in terms of importance and social acceptance between a wife and the other woman. Yes, she has managed to steal your husband but that doesn’t make her any superior in any way. You do not need to have any misconception that your husband is or had an affair with her because she is better than you in any way, whether that be appearance wise, smartness wise or sexually. It has been found in many studies that in most cases of infidelity, the wife is better than the other woman in every sense. So do not have any inferiority complex. In fact, realize that not only is she lesser than you in terms of qualities but she is also inferior in character.
Having an affair with somebody’s husband stresses the fact that she is mean, self-centered person with low morale and ethics. Moreover, you are the wife and she is “the other”. The term “the other” makes her position secondary and less important. Studies also reveal that when choosing between wife and the other woman, married men tend to go for their wives. So, instead of having frustrations over her, take her as a pitiful character. When deep inside you realize and believe that you are superior and more important than her in every way, you would be in a better position to deal with her.
Ignore her completely
You know she exists but let it remain till there. You do not need to give her any importance in your life. Picking up a fight with her or with your husband regarding her will do you no good. Calling her names, blaming her, dragging her in all discussion with your husband will make matters worse. By doing so you will push your husband away from you and towards the other woman. The best policy is to ignore her completely, even if she is physically present in the same site or locality as you are. For women who love drama and are self-centered with low morale, ignorance can be a big blow. This might put her on fire and she may turn more aggressive and desperate. But finally it will do you good.
In fact, it might be her who makes a wrong move out of sheer desperation. If you remain calm and do not pull her name in front of your husband all the time causing embarrassment to him, then you gain brownie points with your husband too as he may be forced to think of how wrong he has been with you.
Be alert
Women who get into affairs with married men knowing that they have a wife and a family usually do not give up easily. Giving up means losing the game to the wives which works as a confidence decreasing factor for them. Usually these women are insecure at heart and they want to reassure themselves by luring and stealing somebody else’s husband. Some women however get into a relation for some materialistic benefits. Whatever the case may be, the end of the affair might mean end of the benefits or a blow on the ego and confidence. So, they will not let the man get out of the affair that easily. Here you need to be cautious. Not only you need to keep an eye on your husband’s whereabouts and movements, but also make sure that the two of them do not get to get closer again. Think of all the strategies that would ensure that your husband keeps away from the other woman and disconnects from her completely.
Focus on your husband
If you want to deal with the other woman appropriately then shift the focus from her to your husband. It is easier, convenient and more self-consoling to blame the other woman for the affair. But the fact remains that your husband is equally, if not more, responsible for it. Moreover, it is not the other woman who has broken your trust but your husband who has cheated on you. If it had not been her, it could be just about any “other woman”. It’s an equal choice for your husband to decide to get into an affair or not. So, instead of focusing on the other woman, confront your partner about the affair with evidence. Get clear answers from your husband about the depth of his affair. Ask him what he wants to do about his affair. If there are signs of regret take assurance from him of cutting off all ties with this woman. Remember, the problem is not the other woman here. The actual problem is your husband. So, dealing with the other woman means dealing with your husband correctly and wisely.
