Guide to understanding the significance of commitment in life and how to overcome commitment phobia

The significance of commitment in life

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism. -Anon.

Either the resolutions made for the New Year or the diet-plans to be slim again, everything seems to fall short since they are rhetoric and do not have any connection with your passion. On the other hand, when it comes to your family needs, for instance when your child is not well and needs your care, you do not make excuses or lie on your back saying that even you are not well, you do the needful. The difference between both situations is commitment.

Definition of commitment

Significance-of-commitment-in-your-life

 

Commitment lies in your thoughts and in your words and it is visible only through actions. When the intentions, words, and actions are in the congruence of each other, we call it a commitment. And what supports your commitment is your passion for a goal.

Commitment is a pre-requisite for a successful life

Your belief system is what makes you successful and achieve the goal of your life. Commitment stands first on the list of values and priorities of successful people and differentiates them from the losers. Whether it is taking the business to soaring heights or achieving the targets of your company or making your relationship work in the long run, everything demands commitment.

The significance of commitment in a relationship

commitment in a relationship

When you tie the knot of a relationship, you do it on the basis of commitment, love, and respect. You and your partner are closed due to the promise made to be with each other through all the odds of life. However, if the promise made was just lip service and there was no commitment, the relationship is left astray.

On the contrary, if the partners commit to be with each other through every thick and thin, it makes their relationship even stronger. It is not the relationship just for the sake of saying instead it holds a lot of credence and it is worth living.

If you are not sure how to turn your budding romance into a life-long commitment, read on.

Turning your college romance into the commitment of a lifetime

From infatuation to a long-term relationship

From infatuation to a long-term relationship

One such thing that you get to experience for the first time in college is your college romance that is one out of the world experience. You get attracted to someone of the opposite sex and life starts seeming even more lovely and exciting. The attraction and infatuation breathe a new life and energy into your life, and you experience happiness, probably that you had never experienced before. In some cases, the infatuation and attraction fade away in some time but in others, it stays for longer, and some people manage to take their infatuation to higher levels. Their college romance continues to get stronger with time and they end up having long-term relationships, even marriages in few cases.

How to transform your college romance into a long-term relationship

It shouldn’t be forced

infatuation did not take much time to vanish

Some boys and girls in a hurry try to take their attraction to the next level. They manage to do so somehow but later they go through a pang of peculiar guilt or unhappiness owing to their rushed decision. They initially felt a fair amount of infatuation but as soon they entered a relationship, their infatuation did not take much time to vanish. You ought to enjoy your college romance and never rush. Feel every moment well, give yourself time and then if you both feel things right, you will automatically form a couple.

Let trust take time

If you happen to get attracted to someone in your school, you might know what sort of boy or girl she is because you both have been in the same school for good past years. On the other hand, college is a bigger pool with so many new faces, so you do not know how trustworthy that girl or boy is. Not everybody has good intentions, so you need to be cautious. Make him or her friend first, get to know them and automatically you will find how worthy are they of your trust.

No gossiping

gossiping

As college boys and girls are still immature, they often gossip about their crush and tend to tell their friends everything they did with their newfound love. Be it one of your unintentional actions, but once he or she gets to know about it, it would not work good in your interest, so no gossiping at all.

Do not pretend

Pretending to be someone else is the worst thing to do, as it eats away happiness and liking from a relationship. For instance, you find out what your partner loves in other people and you happen to have none of those qualities. You should try to learn those qualities. but should never pretend that you already have them because the day your pretending fails, he or she will start hating you altogether.

Care for each other

Care for each other

It should not be just for dates and some enjoyment you remember each other but other times as well. You both should care for each other’s happiness and should try making each other happy. This quality in a college romance goes a long way.

College romance is sweet and with a little more care and love, one can transform it into a lifelong commitment.

The significance of commitment on the career front

significance of commitment on the career front

When the companies are looking to fill their vacancies, what they look in potential candidates is for how much time the candidate has been working in the previous companies or for what period of time the candidate is stuck to a particular job. This is because they are trying to find out the degree of commitment the candidate can give to their company.

If any person is bouncing on jobs in very short periods of time, it signifies that the person may not work with complete dedication at one place for long and lacks commitment. Therefore, the hiring company may not weigh up his application for the job.

However, in a situation quite the opposite, when a person is committed towards his team members and the organizational goals it can greatly influence the efficiency of the company and he assumes it his own growth when the company is growing.

Commitment to your career requires effective time management and excellent productivity. Read on to find out how you can use your time at work wisely to deliver great results, thereby showcasing your steadfast commitment for your work.

Streamline time management to add more productive hours to your day

Keep track of every single minute you have

Time Management Concept

Time is valuable, once gone it never comes back. Most people fail to understand the fact and waste a lot of time chatting with friends or playing computer games to kill time. This time can actually be used to enhance your skills or to learn something new that can help you escalate your career to greater heights. Knowledge once acquires never goes waste as you get many opportunities to employ your skills and use them to your advantage.

Use spare time analyze

Young woman writing in the office

You can use the free time you get in your office when you are waiting for a meeting to start or sitting in a cafeteria waiting for a friend to analyze things. You can review your plans or recheck your daily routine to make some modifications.

Make the most of your productive time

productivity

If you are someone, who can concentrate really well the moment you step into your office you must make the best use of your time. Try to finish the most difficult task first thing in the morning so that you can make some time to relax and collect the energy to work on the easier stuff. Do not waste time to grab a cup of coffee, as it tastes even sweeter when you have it after finishing an important task and that too early in the morning.

Set your priorities right

three red darts failed to hit the center of the target and a green dart made the perfect shot image over a white background

If you keep yourself busy over the phone or browse social networking sites to check the latest updates, you may have to compromise on your work and even its efficiency. Keep your to-do-list with you and start working on the urgent and important task right away. It helps you keep yourself ahead of your targets and saves time to reenergize yourself during the break.

Maintain a diary

Young woman lying on a bed writing in a notebook

You must have noticed that successful people always maintain a diary for each passing day. Keep a record of your daily commitments and put a mark once you complete the task. Nowadays smartphones and laptops have taken the place of a diary. Learn to make effective use of electronic gadgets that can make you a winner in life.

Start with an easy task

Happy business woman gesturing thumbs up

Most people find it hard to get into action and it keeps them for making the best use of their time. If you are one of those people, make sure you start with a comparatively easier task. It helps you stay motivated and focused.

Develop a realistic approach

Cheerful businesswoman

Plan your following day a day before and set realistic goals. You cannot expect yourself to be a superhuman. Set targets of moderate difficulty level so that you can utilize your skills and get good results at the end of the day.

Break down your bigger goals

Break down your bigger goals

You must learn to break down your bigger goals into manageable tasks and put in your best efforts. It is always difficult to stay motivated when you have a bigger goal to achieve. On the contrary, achieving smaller goals keeps you motivated and gives you the confidence that you are moving forward on the path of success.

Timeframe almost everything

Redhead girl with alarm clock on blue background.

The idea is not to turn yourself into a workaholic but to give more importance to your priorities. Set reminders to keep yourself aware of the time you spend watching TV or playing computer games. Once you know time is up get back to the important task at once. You can also use the time limits to achieve your daily targets and bigger goals too.

Do not forget to pat yourself on the back every time you make an achievement. Give yourself rewards when you finish your goals so that you stay focused and up the spirit to realize your dreams.

How commitment can influence one’s life?

How commitment can influence one’s life

Mario Andretti has rightly said, “Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”

The values and principles in which you believe and are important to you form the basis of your actions and these actions construct your character and influence your life accordingly. Commitment is one of those values many people believe in and stick to the same. Moreover, those who inculcate this value in them always fulfill their promises and win the hearts of many and become successful in whatever career or the relationship they choose to be in.

Furthermore, the significance of commitment is not just a strong word to add to your language, it holds a lot of weight if it is added to one’s personality. You need not take any classes to be committed towards your goal. It comes to you naturally when you have certain visions in your life and you are conscious and persistent enough to realize them.

How to deal with commitment phobia

How to deal with commitment phobia

People realize the significance of commitment in life, at the same time, there are many who suffer from commitment phobia. Commitment phobia refers to the fear of commitment that often restricts a person from committing to any long term plan or relationship. A person suffering from commitment phobia does yearn for and wants to get into a long term relationship but due to the phobia is unable to remain or commit to any relationship.

It is very common these days, not only in men but also in women. It might be due to the traumatic relations in the past or due to the social conditions prevailing. Commitment phobia often requires help from a professional expert to be treated accurately. Though, there are a few things that you can follow to deal with the matter yourself.

Recognize the root cause of your fear and be open about it

root cause of your fear

To deal with any problem you must know what is causing the problem in the first place. So, find out what is generating this fear in you and stopping you from committing to any relationship. It can be that you are scared of losing your freedom or losing out on options, afraid of taking a wrong decision and be trapped in it forever, you might have seen other people’s relationships go sour or might have gone through a bad relationship experience yourself. Whatever the reason might be, find it out and acknowledge it.

If you are already in a relationship it is important that you discuss about your skepticism and fear about commitments with your partner. To overcome commitment phobia you will need his support and if he really cares for you then he would understand it and help you overcome the fear.

Let go of the past

Let-go-of-the-past

Life is about moving on and that’s what you need to do. You must get rid of any previous experience that made you bitter and skeptical about relationships. If you let the hurtful memories torment you or you carry the burden of your emotional baggage with you then you will never get rid of commitment phobia. So, do not hold yourself back because of your apprehensions or bitter past. Leave your past behind and move towards a brighter and happier future that is ready to offer you a fulfilling relationship.

Learn to trust

Learn to trust

Trust is the pillar on which any relationship is based. Without trust, a relationship is meaningless. Put your past behind you and love, care and trust your partner. Not everyone has the same attitude. If a particular person hurts you, it doesn’t mean that everyone does.

Don’t keep saying what you want from a relationship

relationship

The last thing you want to do when in a relationship is bragging about what you expect from a relation. Just accept the fact that no body is perfect. Accept your partner as they are and treat them with love and respect. Let the time set the deal for you.

Don’t rush, move forward slowly

move forward slowly

Do not make a hurried approach towards any relationship. Give sufficient time to yourself before deciding to get into another relationship. Your heart needs time to heal itself so that it is fully ready to get into the next relationship. Once you have left the pain and sourness of your failed relationships behind, you know you are ready to find the right person for yourself. But resist from jumping into the next relationship before you have evaluated all aspects cautiously. If you jump into a relationship before knowing the person too well then you are just proceeding towards another heartbreak. So, give time to yourself to know the person better so that you know he is the perfect choice for you. Let the relationship take its own pace. Neither jump into it too early nor hold yourself back because of any skepticism or apprehension.

Learn to forgive

Learn to forgive

Trust doesn’t come overnight and with your phobia ruling your mind it would be much more difficult for you to trust anyone you are in a relationship with. However, it is extremely vital that you bring trust in the relationship. Give time to the relationship so that trust can be born. Believe in the fact that happy relationships and marriages do exist. Also, remind yourself that every person is different and so is your current partner from your ex. If your ex had hurt you or broken your trust, it is not necessary that your current partner too would repeat that.

To let trust develop between you and your partner, you must learn to forgive too. Your partner might have made a tiny error. That doesn’t mean that you will quit the relationship immediately. Learn to forgive and ignore the small mistakes. That would make your relationship stronger and you less susceptible to commitment phobia.

Do not expect perfection and be ready to compromise

be ready to compromise

No person is perfect and therefore you should not expect your partner to be exactly as per your expectations. Every person has flaws. Your partner too would have a few of them. You must accept this fact and reduce your expectations. At the same time also accept that there is no perfect relationship on earth too. You two might get into fights, arguments or disagreements. That doesn’t mean that you are in a wrong relationship or the relationship is not worth it.

Differences in two people do exist and that leads to fights and disagreements. That is a part of relationships and life. If you expect your partner and your relationship to be “perfect” then you would always be disappointed which would increase your commitment phobia. Do not keep repeating to yourself or to your partner what you expect from him and the relationship and what is not being fulfilled. This would only increase stress between you two and make things disappointing and bitter over time. So, reduce your expectations, be ready to compromise at times and let time play its role and make your relationship stronger.

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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