A separation is perhaps the most difficult time in a relationship and most of the people don’t know how to deal with it. Surrounding yourself with positive activity and people is the key to stay grounded. Read on to know the tips which can help you out in coping with your emotions and problems.
Talk to someone you trust
When your marriage fails, you are likely to feel a whole range of intense emotions which are mainly characterized by frustration and anger. You can give an outlet to these intense emotions by talking to a family member or close friend. Sharing your feelings with someone whom you trust always makes you feel better. At the same time be careful not to burden your children with these feelings. You can feel free to share your deepest concerns only if you trust the person to keep your secrets. A person who has been through similar situations is the best one to offer support. Your children also need to know that the separation is not going to make them lose the love and support of either parent. Keep the lines of communication open with your children and discuss the new living arrangements with them. Donât let them feel in any way that they are responsible for the divorce or separation
Stay healthy
The stress and depression caused during and after separation lead to a number of major lifestyle changes. For instance, you may find yourself staying up late worrying and skipping meals. All these changes show an adverse effect on your health. This is the time when you need to be on top of the things but this sort of lifestyle can only lead to ailments and loss of energy. Keep yourself in good health by getting enough sleep and eating regular meals. Regular exercise is also very important. We are not asking you to follow some intense training schedule, a 20 minute walk in the park can do the trick. You also have to learn some methods so that you can cope up with the stress. There are a number of stress management techniques which you can follow. Yoga and meditation are very effective in reducing stress levels.
Allow yourself the time you need to heal
When you are going through a separation, you will find out that your friends and family may encourage you to get on with life even before you are ready to do so. This happens because your loved ones will never want you to be distressed and unhappy and that is why they try to bring back your life on track as soon as possible. But you need to remember that it is not a race, you have to give yourself the time which you deserve. Although their concern is reasonable, but still losing a marriage causes wounds which need certain time to heal. Your relationship may have been difficult but that does not make it easy to get out of it. Also, worrying about the things for which you cannot do anything at present will make it even more difficult for you. Deal with these problems when the right time comes.
Avoid making major decisions during this time
You will feel the need of making some important decisions quickly right after the separation, such as school arrangement for children, housing and most importantly getting a job, if you have not been working earlier. However, it may be best for you to give yourself some time before taking some major decisions. Put these decisions âon holdâ until the dust has settled. At the same time also make sure that you are able to keep a familiar routine for yourself and your children. At the time of such a major and painful change, it becomes very important to have a sense of stability. This is especially important for your children because they are most vulnerable to the pain and agony caused by the separation of their parents. They will be able to cope up with the changes around them in a better way if their world stays the same.
Get professional help
You are likely to face several legal and emotional problems for which you will certainly need some professional help. A lawyer can help you out in all the legal issues, however, you need to find a counselor if you are going through severe emotional stress. Your family doctor can help you out in finding a counselor for you. Other than the professional help, you can also consider joining some support groups in your community. You can get a lot of help in this difficult time from these workshops and self help groups in your community.
