How to deal with resentment

Resentment can ruin even the fondest of memories. While resentment is no doubt a fact of life, it can never qualify as one of the best conditions to live through. Let us find some ways to deal with resentment.

Spiritualize yourself

Leading a spiritual life as a weapon of fighting resentment may sound abstract, yet spirituality can infuse you with introspectiveness, thereby giving you an opportunity to examine your inner self and understand the emotions better. In speaking about spirituality, we are not asking you to join a religious group. You can sign up for yoga sessions or explore meditation. It is about finding ways to understand yourself from within. In no time, you will be able to detect the real source of resentments. In order to find solutions to a problem, it is absolutely imperative that you understand and know the root cause.

Maintain a gratitude journal

Grab hold of a notebook and decorate it according to your whims and tastes. At the same time, make a promise that you intend to use the pages of the notebook to register gratitude for what you ultimately receive. Again, every day write down a few things that you are thankful for. Turn it into a routine habit. From morning greetings to the promise of a pay-hike the contents may vary widely. However, repeating the discourse every day will surely help fight the resentment building up inside.

 

Detect the real reason for people misbehaving with you

Find the perspectives and scenarios that prompted people to treat you in a way that hurts you. The results may leave your surprised. Maybe the people you socialize with or meet everyday have been undergoing a state of such deep seated frustration and emotional disturbance that communicating in rational or polite manner appeared impossible to them. It has to be borne in mind that human beings, by nature, do not want to hurt others. However, circumstances often force the inner caveman to get the better of their senses, thereby causing them to harm near and dear ones. Hence, getting to the bottom of the issue is very important.

 

Find ways to express your emotions

Go ahead and express those emotions without causing physical harm to anybody. If you are feeling resentful, then let go of the pent up emotions verbally. The idea is to flush out every bit of the anger left in your system. You can go about jumping up and down or crying out loud or exerting unusual sounds. Follow whatever your body says about having the negative energy released. Make out five minutes everyday to express the anger either verbally, through words, or in writing. Alternatively, you can also go for a run, a workout or a swim. A good number of people have benefited from the toxic-energy releasing capacities of exercise sessions.

 

Find peace and drive resentment away through focused attention

Focused attention has been one of the most effective tools in dealing with resentment. To begin with, find a cozy seat and close the eyes. Next, focus on breathing. Make sure to concentrate on the exhales and inhales. Continue in this state for five minutes or so. Direct your attention to the heart now. By heart we mean the center of the chest. Think about all the things you feel grateful for, right now. Start by visualizing them one by one. With a little more concentration, you may even be able to even hear them inside the mind. As you see or hear them, your heart automatically gets infused with feelings of thankfulness or gratitude. Resentment over petty issues will soon become a thing of the past.

 

Forgive the plotters and the sinners

After you have finished performing the exercise of gratitude and breathing, also known as focused attention, continue to keep your eyes shut tight for a while. Now, release the regret and resentment bottling up inside. As you do so, try and imagine every instance separately. Think of every single person you hold a grudge against, painful however as it may sound. Alternatively, you can even see their innocent faces smiling at you. It is important to realize here that every person is trying hard, locked in a state of consciousness. Tell such people, even if it is only in your thoughts, that you have actually forgiven them. While forgiving people who had tried harming us may not sound very appealing at the outset, yet it is really effective in overcoming resentment.

Confront the person causing the resentment

An effective way of dealing with resentment is confronting the person who triggered the anger. It should be remembered that the person in question is still alive and hence you must find ways to contact him or her. As soon as you do so, your first responsibility lies in making peace. Better still, if you manage to extract a full grown apology. You must consider yourself lucky if the person comes and offers an apology. But, in case the person looks persistent, then walk away. The most important achievement here is that you were able to meet the individual behind the resentment head on.

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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