The word mother-in-law may fill your heart with self-doubt and apprehension. But, you can improve the condition and get along well with her by following some simple guidelines. Here are a few steps to deal with your mother-in-law.
Be practical
Though it may sound counter-intuitive, always remember to follow your heart and be practical. Act wisely and take decisions like any person would do by using your common sense. Avoid out-doing your mother-in-law because she has more experience than you in dealing with various issues. If you have to meet up with your in-laws, take some time and have a calm and friendly frame of mind. At least, try to act in that manner if you are not able to remain calm and friendly. This is a kind of defensive mechanism that can prevent from harnessing negative emotions. Feeling light-hearted can help you deal with all kinds of offensive situations. Meet up with your in-laws more often and be friendly to them. Speak to them like you speak to your friends. This will help you create a good mutual relationship.
Change the pattern of criticism
Most often, you may have to deal with situations where your mother-in-law criticizes you. In case of such situations, listen quietly to what she has to say. Wait for a few minutes and see if she stops criticism. If she continues to do so, distract her by introducing some other topic which may interest her. Talk about some interesting event relating your children, show her some interesting photos or even talk to her about some new magazine that might interest her. If she has a hobby or interest, try to talk to her about that. Praise her for anything that she has done in an extraordinary way. For example, decorating her home, maintaining her garden. She may forget her criticisms and begin talking on the new topic. You can even ask your children to engage their grandmother in something that might interest her.
Compliment can do wonders
One quality that you must try to reinforce is compliment. Always compliment your mother-in-law for anything that she has done extremely well. Try to acknowledge whatever she does in your favor. Sometimes, she may be ready to babysit for you when you have to attend some important event. She may even prepare a delicious dinner when you are sick and not able to cook for your kids. All these things have to be acknowledged with gratitude. A woman can never be put off by a compliment. So, even if it does not do any good immediately, it is going to be helpful sometime in the future. She may at least remember your words and try to help you out in times of any crisis.
Sense of humor
Sense of humor can save a lot of situations. Having a sense of humor is one of the biggest qualities that can help you establish a good relationship with your mother-in-law. If you are able to take things lightly, you will have to be less worried, especially when you have to deal with your mother-in-law. Humor is the best tool to diffuse hostility. If you have to deal with stressful situations, try to look at the lighter side of the events and enjoy the whole incident in a different manner. Look at the situation from a distance and study how both of you behaved. When you do this you will come to know of many things and also get an idea about how to deal with such situations in future. Spending time together and watching some comedy movies or TV shows can be really useful to ease the friction between you two.
Patience is key
A mother-in-law can never take the place of your mother. But, with patience, you can achieve a lot of impossible things such as winning the heart of your mother-in-law. Always remain patient and treat her with respect. Remember that she is elder to you and has a lot of experience in all aspects. If she talks or behaves in a particular manner, there must be some reason behind it. Try to identify it and see if you have a part to play to make things look better. A little consideration and love may be more helpful than doing any harm. So, try to be patient and listen to what she has to say. If it is practical, there is nothing wrong in following it. Though you cannot expect immediate transformation, she will begin to realize your personality and look forward to support you in future.
