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How to deal with a manipulative ex wife

manipulative ex wife

A bitter relationship is liked by none. You might have got a bitter taste in your mouth from the last relationship. Yet, with time you might have just decided to move on. Unfortunately, though you find your manipulative ex-wife trying to create disturbances even in your present relationship. How would you deal with it? Here are a few pieces of advice which will help you.

Act confident – the best way to deal with a manipulative ex-wife


Your manipulative ex-wife might be very cunning and would try to blackmail you. She might threaten to reveal some personal details or moments you two had to your present wife. Even then, you shouldn’t give in to your manipulative ex-wife’s whims fearing that your present wife would not like the revelations. You should be calm, composed and make it known clearly to your ex-wife that you would not accede to her demands. It is always better to clear up things in your present relationship. Take a proper time and divulge these personal details to your present wife yourself. If you do not, then chances are your manipulative ex-wife would one day take the cat out of the bag and your wife would probably be a lot hurt then.

Know what you are doing

She might try to get very sentimental and emotional

You are here, reading this article because you wish to understand how to deal with a manipulative person. In day-to-day life, you may come across numerous manipulative people – they are everywhere, after all.  So what is the difference between a generally manipulative individual and your manipulative ex-wife? Here’s an answer that will ring a bell for you.

Your manipulative ex-wife might try many measures to mess up your life. So, she might want to try to again get physical with you or she might flirt with you too. Yet, do not ever reciprocate to her. She might try to get very sentimental and emotional and would try to divert your mind to past memories, yet you should not fall for her trap. Remember, if you do reciprocate to her supposed ‘feelings’, you would be putting your present relationship in danger. Any fine day, your ex-wife might start blackmailing you and asking you for many ‘favors’, which you would then not be able to refuse. So, be careful and always know the repercussions of your actions. If you are not, the situations might get bitter later on which surely you wouldn’t want.

Be practical when dealing with your manipulative ex-wife

remember those days

It is easy to get lost in the land of dreams. Your ex might just want to ‘get lost in dreams’, so that she can take advantage of the situation. She might tell you about how beautiful the days were when you were together and how much she loved you. She might tell you about how much she misses you and how you two could still stay together. She would come up with a thousand possible circumstances through which you two could again be together. With all this talk, she would try to rouse your feelings so that you commit a mistake. In these circumstances, be practical. Know that the relationship has ended and now you have your own wife to look after. Don’t fall in for dreams and fantasies, and stick to reality.

Love your wife

Love your wife

This is another ploy that could be used by your manipulative ex-wife. She might constantly compare herself with your present wife. She would portray many reasons as to why she feels she is better than your present wife. She might tell how much you mean to her and how your present wife does not take proper care of you. She might even give examples to demonstrate her love for you. Yet, even when she does all this, you need to be composed and not fall for her trap. If your manipulative ex-wife really did love you this much, why did the break up take place? Why wasn’t she caring then enough so that the situation could have been sorted out amicably? You would be opening a tin of worms if you fall for her trap. Love your present wife and stop having any contact with your ex-wife.

Believe in yourself


Lastly, always have confidence in yourself. Your manipulative ex-wife might try to show that you took a very wrong decision by breaking up with her. Your ex-wife might tell you about how better off things could have been if you had stayed with her. She might tell you that it was wrong on your part to marry off someone else after leaving her. Yet, never lose confidence in your actions. You should know deep in your heart that the actions you took were the best possible at that certain point of time. So, even if the actions do not seem to have been the best at this point in time, you should be happy. Whatever has happened has happened. Instead of trying to relive a lost relationship, concentrate on making your present relationship a success.

You cannot deal with a manipulative loved one if you are not aware that you are being manipulated in the first place. Sometimes, there is a monster hiding in plain sight, and you might not even recognize. So, if you are unsure whether you are in a manipulative relationship or not, read on to understand some major signs that indicate the same.

Signs you are stuck in a manipulative/emotionally abusive relationship

The moment you look at your partner your heart skips a beat and leaves you astonished. You feel as if you are living in a dream world. However, there may be another side to your relationship. The manipulative behavior and emotional abuse that seems like a part of your relationship takes away your peace of mind and makes you feel helpless.

The desire to control and dominate may prove to be harmful in the end. You must know and acknowledge the fact that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Here are a few common signs:

They want you to please them at all costs

Happy family thinking how to spend money

Do not get into the trap of those who say or make you believe that they have many options. Such people always want you to please them regardless of how you feel. People who treat you like a doormat can never prove to be good life partners.

They play mind games

Bad relationship concept. Man and woman in disagreement. Young couple after quarrel sitting on sofa back to back

It is important to have a transparent communication for a better understanding. Those who fail to keep their promise and that too almost all the time may be doing it deliberately. They want you to think over all the possibilities and it may be their way to control you even when they are not there.

There may be a possibility that they take you for granted and do not think that it is important to keep their words. If they make a promise to call you at a particular time and do not call, they may be trying to control your emotions.

They try to control you

Such people always try to control you and fail to understand the fact that you are a human being with different needs and requirements. They impose their own choices on you and do not give you your personal space. It is important to spend some quality time together but you cannot deny the importance of personal space.

They want you to dress the way they like and eat food they order for you. They may even keep you from talking to your best friends. There may be different ways to get your approval. They may try to blackmail you emotionally or put on a low face until you show your agreement.

They do not respect you

If someone does not respect you or your privacy then you must give it serious thought. Emotional abusers always try to impose themselves on you even when you tell them not to do so. This is their way to get an upper hand in a relationship. They are least bothered that their overtly dominative behavior may cause you some trouble.

They are secretive

Such people are secretive about almost everything. They never introduce you to their friends or family. They may even get into a phase of temporary rage if you force them to do so. They want you to know a little or almost nothing about them.

They are manipulative

Emotional abusers are always manipulative people who try to hide the truth and may tell you hundreds of lie to do so. They annoy you intentionally just to see how far they can push their limits. Such people always try to make you believe that you are the reason why they behave in this manner. They are unhappy deep down inside and may even try to criticize your choice of career. It is often difficult to get a straight answer from one such person.

They trouble you on purpose

Man gesturing to wife during a dispute

Those people who try to control you emotionally may try to trouble you intentionally. It is their way to punish you. Instead of addressing a situation like a mature person, they may think of strange ways to create a mess.

When you witness a needless drama in your life and that too on a regular basis, you must take the control in your own hands. You are better off alone if your partner tries to control your behavior and does not let you have your personal space.

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