Managing your anger for a better life

Thanks to the need to participate in the rat race, the adrenaline rush to reach the top, the urge to stay there, our hectic lifestyles, stress, inability to fulfil every desire, deception, insensitivity, insult and frustration is leading to increase in the number of angrier, aggravated and irritable individuals. Anger is a human emotion, which naturally manifests itself when we are sad or frustrated, or when we have been deceived, when attacked physically, when our ego hurts and when we are annoyed. But sometimes, anger is the indication of a bigger problem – a mental illness or an emotion that overwhelms us, distresses us and puts others in danger.

It can be a trouble managing anger, especially if it has slowly become your patent response to every challenging situation. But you can still deal with it; channelize it in a constructive and healthier fashion. Releasing your anger and tension is good and getting angry isn’t a problem, but how you deal with it can be the problem.

Anger is problem when it poses danger for others around you. This depends upon the ways you manifest it. For instance, if you are angry that someone has stopped the car in midway, talking on phone and creating a traffic nuisance, you blow the horn, which is a perfectly valid response. But if you get out of your car, force the other driver to come out and slap it – that is an inappropriate response. Therefore, when you express your anger in inappropriate ways or don’t express it or show it in unsafe ways, you have a problem! Your anger is a problem if you become passive aggressive or become angry quite often over trivial things. Such anger can deteriorate your professional, social and personal relationships or lead to problems like insomnia, depression, addiction, compulsive behaviour, self harm or digestive, heart and circulatory problems.

Managing anger for better life: Some tips and tricks

  • Understand the cause of anger: Does your anger a result of negative past experiences or did someone in your family got angry quite often? Asking yourself these questions can help you get to the root of your problem. When you are powerfully angry, do you get violent or does your anger frequently turns to rage? If your answer to any of the last two questions is a yes, then you need to seek a professional psychologist’s or counsellor’s help to maintain control.
  • Learn the triggers: Check for triggers like, what circumstances make you angry, what words angry you? How do you behave when you are angry and how you feel once the anger is subsided? Once you know these triggers, check for warning signs your body may give- like adrenaline rush, faster heart beat, breathing quickly, tapping feet, clenching teeth and fists.
  • Calm yourself: If you know the warning signs, try calming techniques like breathing slowly, counting to ten or trying something creative, like painting, singing or dancing which works very well to channelize your anger. Listen to music to soothe yourself, meditate, or exercise.
  • Being assertive: Assertion is the key to positive channelizing your anger. Communicate in a clear and lucid manner. Tell the other person that the particular situation is hurtful, but don’t be violent. Don’t blame, rather be specific, understand other’s views and ask yourself beforehand if the anger is justified or not.

Try these tips to manage your anger and have a healthier, happier life!

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Dr Prem Jagyasi and Team

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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