It becomes hard for the person to live life happily when he/she finds him/her self accompanied by the feelings of being unworthy and unlovable. Shame is the state of mind that makes you feel inadequate and unacceptable. It is a threat to your identity as the fear of losing your self-respect keeps bugging you day in day out. However, there is another side to it as it is just another human emotion. Shame is a painful feeling that robs you off your happiness and peace of mind.
Confide in a loved one
Do not hesitate to share your feelings with a trustworthy friend or a loved one who him/her self has been there. Speak your heart out to them and tell them how you feel. They may relate to it and suggest you a way out. If not anything else, you would get a feeling that you are not alone. You feel relaxed when you know that a loved one is there to ease the pain. Make sure that person you share it with understands and you get the support you need the most.
Shame does not define you
You are a human being with emotions and a variety of good or bad experiences. You cannot let a feeling of shame define you at any cost. A human being plays different roles and a single character cannot define your true self. This may be a different side personality but it can’t be you as a whole. Get up and get rid of the feeling of worthlessness. Move on in life and leave the feelings of shame behind you.
Decide and take action
Feelings of shame keep you from being your true self. You must make a decision. Take action towards happiness. Write down your fears on a piece of paper when you are alone. Read them once and burn them to ashes. It helps you get rid of such thoughts forever. This way you can make more space for self-respect and positive thoughts of all kinds in your heart.
No doubt, feelings of shame pull you backward in life but negative self-talk also plays a crucial role in it. When you keep telling yourself that you are incompetent and inadequate, you can never get rid of such thoughts. Learn to accept the truth and tell yourself that it happens with all at a point of time. Take it easy and chose to be happy in life. A negative self-image can make it even harder for you to accept the truth. Learn to convert you negative thoughts into positive self-talk.
Open your heart to other things
Do not let feelings of shame overpower you. Open your heart to other things around you. Life is beautiful and it is multifaceted. Shame does not allow you to have a look at the external world that may have beautiful surprise for you. Learn to appreciate the gifts of nature and kind human beings around you who do not judge you but accept you the way you are. Keep yourself open to new experiences in life and leave no space for superfluous feelings in your heart.
Face you fears
The felling of shame does not exist alone. It always has a long list of fears along with it. You can save yourself from the pain by avoiding those fears and that is what most people do. The truth is that you cannot relax and come back to your regular life unless you face your fears. After this stage there comes a time when nothing seems to make a difference. You do not feel the pain and even if it exists, it hardly keeps you from happiness. This is the real acceptance, which is liberating in itself.
Feeling of shame is difficult to tolerate since you fear losing the place that you have made for yourself. Instead of putting off, learn to accept the realty and face your fears to get rid of this feeling. Resistance enhances sufferings and acceptance helps you overcome your fear.