Most people who are flirts do not mean any harm, but if flirting becomes increasingly irritating and happens in an office or educational institution, you might either be sending mixed signals or not being firm enough to stop the advances. Here is how to deal with the issue.
Be polite, but firm
Being politely firm is something that most women are not good at. This is exactly the reason that the flirts carry on, hoping that you are going to change your mind one of these days and accept the advances. It is a different matter altogether if you are interested in the guy or the girl. But if you are not thrilled or excited at the advances, it is imperative that you have to be very firm in your attitude towards this person. Being polite is a necessary step, especially if you are working together or studying in the same school or college. This will ensure that the person does not develop any ill feelings towards you and also gets the message that you are really not interested in dilly dallying with him/her. Be very firm in showing your displeasure towards the personâs flirtatious attitude towards you. If possible, you may also let him know that you are engaged to someone else and are serious about your relationship.
Ignore the advances completely
In most cases, the flirting should stop with a firm attitude. If the flirting does not stop and the person continues to find opportunities to flirt with you quite often after a polite chat, it is best to ignore him altogether. Do not give him/her a chance to be with you alone or take up subjects that can lead to personal conversation and flirting. Be in a group when the person is with you and walk away from him if he continues with his attitude. The best thing to do in such cases is to ignore him completely without any botheration as to what he would think. He does not require any more warning as you have already expressed your displeasure and disinterest in his attitude towards you.
Show your displeasure openly
When the flirting gets out of hand even after repeated warnings, it is time to react openly in front of people. Most people, especially boys get intimidated if confronted in front of their colleagues or classmates. You might be making an enemy by doing so. But, there is no need to feel reproachful about the whole episode as you have given the person enough time to mend his/her ways. Showing open disgust must however be done after serious thought. This is especially true when the person who is involved is a team member with whom you have to work closely or a classmate whom you see on a daily basis. After an open confrontation, things could get really sore between the two and work as well as group relations could be affected as well. Be absolutely sure that you are ready to face the consequences when you take such a step.
Talk to the concerned people
To avoid confrontations, you may skirt the above step and take the issue to the concerned school/college authorities or the HR department. You can explain to the management if it has started affecting your concentration and work and has started spoiling employee relations. Your HR manager would talk to the concerned person amicably and bring about a positive change in the personâs behavior. When such sensitive issues are taken up by the management, the person would most probably mend his ways as his job is at stake. Similarly, college authorities can speak to the student and serious action can be taken against the student if the behavior continues. This is a more peaceful way of settling things without the involvement of colleagues and classmates. This strategy almost always works because of the involvement of the management.
Avoid responding and move on
Some people are just incorrigible and whatever threat would not help them mend their ways. If they are harmless, you can choose to just avoid the pleas and flirtatious remarks and just move on or take it in the right spirit and flirt back. It is a different matter altogether if the person becomes completely despicable and is hellbent on making your life hell. In such cases, you can request the management to take stern action against the person like eviction from the school/work etc. If it borders on harassment, you should also think of shifting your base as such people can get really dangerous as well.
