How to deal with enemies

There isn’t a single person without enemies. Enemies are difficult to deal with, especially if it is your behavior that has caused them to become your enemy. In such cases, it is you who have to apologize and make amends and try to deal with the situation.

Talk to the enemy

Some mistakes can be corrected with talks and you must be the first person to approach your enemy if you want to seriously make amends and prevent enmity between each other. Talk to the person and try to put your past behind you. If you are closely associated and work together, this gesture is much needed, failing which it will affect your work as well. If you are the cause behind his/her enmity, apologize for the same. If he/she is the cause, be willing to accept it and forget it as a clash that was meant to happen. Talk to each other and make a serious effort to get along and avoid more conflicts that can lead to more enmity. Good communication and a willingness to forgive and forget will help both of you get through the phase and move on.

Be polite and courteous

An enemy must never be treated rashly. Even if you are the worst of enemies, make it a point to be polite and courteous to him/her, at least when you are in a group and under scrutiny of others. This gesture should be followed at least by you, even if the other person is in no mood to respond in the same manner. Persistent good manners and politeness from your part will help your enemy soften his attitude towards you and finally, without even him/her realizing, the feelings of enmity will vanish into air and you will soon be able to talk without remorse or hatred and leave the episode behind you like mature human beings. Being able to deal with your enemy politely and without hatred is one of the best ways to win your enemy.

Stay away from their reach

There are some people who cannot be won over once they have become your enemies. Any move from your part to talk with them or make amends will fall on deaf ears as they will keep rejecting your advances. Try your best to deal with their enmity. If they do not relent, it is best to stay away from them so that you do not create more unpleasant episodes or make way for more enmity between each other. Keep away from such people as much as possible so that your interests and behaviors do not clash with each other. This is not always possible as enmity stems up when you work together or stay together. Being near each other could not be avoided in such cases. Be as polite as possible and do not find ways to create issues that can act as fuel to the fire that is already ablaze. If your enemy is creating issues, try to avoid a conflict as much as possible.

Ignore them if they cannot be convinced

Trying to convince an enemy to remain friends or forgive and forget is not going to be an easy matter. If you are losing patience and cannot continue anymore, the best approach is to ignore and move on. Ignore your enemy’s hateful remarks aimed at you. Create a feeling of ‘don’t care attitude’ around your enemy’s moves to irritate you or create friction. When they see that you are not bothered or cannot be ruffled, they will slowly mend their ways and stop bothering you. With some people, ignoring their every move to clash with you works best and this will also prevent further tensions and altercations as well. Speak to your enemy only when it is absolutely necessary, and when you speak, make sure that you are as polite and pleasant as possible so that the severity of your enmity is reduced considerably.

Remove them from your life

Some enmities can even spoil your life as the person involved will be extremely revengeful and always trying to create problems and issues in your personal and professional life. It is important to remove yourself from such people as they can be dangerous at times. If it is work relation, you may move out of the job for your peace of mind. Remove such people completely from your life. Cultivate good friendships and clear your mind away from the tension that the enemy has caused in your life. If possible, try to reason with them and help them seek the services of a counselor as enmity that borders on revenge can be dangerous and can spoil the person’s entire life.

Dr Prem Jagyasi and Team (C)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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