Every human being has a different personality and hence the way they deal with death and the time they take to get over it, might be different. Here are some peaceful ways to go about dealing with a death.
The grieving stage
Grieving accompanies death and there is no way you can skirt this step. Whilst some get past the grieving process faster than others, much depends on the intimacy level with the dead person in deciding how fast you would get over the grief. Do not try to stifle your grief when you deal with death. Ensure that your grief flows out without obstacles. This is important for the healing process to set in. Any grief that remains inside your mind will affect your mind and body and lead to longer healing time as well. Therefore, never try to keep your grief hiding inside. It will lead to depression, pain and agony and can affect your mind as well as body in ways that you never imagined would be possible.
Acceptance and coping
Coping and acceptance can be a difficult process if the dead person has been very close to you and has been part of your everyday life. Make sure that you tell your mind that death is a natural phenomenon and there is no way you can skirt around it and escape its clutches. All human beings have to die one day and life has to go on. There is no use in going through denial and disbelief and asking questions as to why you have to go through it. Death has to be dealt with maturity and acceptance and coping will come naturally as well once you start thinking coherently and get busy with life and its tribulations. Never let yourself into solitude and loneliness as this can cause great disturbance and the pain that you feel will remain fresh for a long time to come. Remain busy and do not let your mind linger too much on memories and past deeds that define your equation with the dead person. Remain in a group and keep your mind busy to stay sane.
Talking about death
Though this comes naturally as many people would eventually start enquiring about the death once they feel that you have started coping with it, this is also a way by which you start accepting the fact and move on in life. By talking about the dead person, you are being vocal about his good deeds and are appreciating his existence in your life. During these talks, many of us tend to go back in memory and churn out lovely incidents and events that are etched in our memories and sharing these memories will help us realize our fondness for the dead person. Ultimately, we feel good about sharing as it will bring out our appreciation and love for the dead person. By sharing, we are actually honoring their memory and what better way to keep their memories alive.
Support groups
It is during the death of loved ones that most of us need extra support and care around us. Losing a loved one who has been very close to you can be a traumatic experience. The healing and acceptance time can extent from weeks to months. For some people it might take years before they come to terms with it. Support in the form of friends and relatives and counselling sessions will help in such cases and most people recover faster with support groups to help them out. Ensure that you have friends and relatives near you and in the absence of them, you must consciously make an effort to approach a counselor or a support group that is specialized in such cases.
Life has to move on
Of course, life has to move on and many of us eventually understand this. There are however, a few who need that extra push and support to start afresh and these people would also take more time to cope. Help them understand the importance of putting the broken pieces together and moving on with life. Give the person enough courage and confidence to look for a new job or check into a counselling center to get some advice on how to get on with life. Moving on is very important, failing which depressions and mental illness can set in.
