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Do not confuse between sex and love in your relationship

love in your relationship

Sex and Love are two different things yet both are as important in keeping the relationship alive and going. However, many people mix up these things, which at times lead to disaster. Consider it crazy, but if you learn to differentiate between sex and love, you will automatically lead a better love life. This article is all about how learning the difference between the two can change your sex life. But, before we actually learn how it can affect our love life; let’s take about love and sex as two separate things first.

What is Love?

Love is an emotion

Love is an emotion. It is a beautiful feeling that just comes naturally from inside when you are attracted to someone. Someone does not forcefully give it to you and you are not seduced into loving someone. It is spontaneous and you might fall in love at the most unexpected of times. You can’t control this.

What is Sex?

intimate couple

Sex is something that requires the mating of two bodies. It is a form of love but it is not love itself. People have sex for many reasons such as for releasing your tensions or just for pleasure. Having sex doesn’t mean that you are actually in love. Many people have sex, there are one-night stands, and there is even paid sex but that doesn’t mean that you are going to live some fairytale happy ending with the one you’re having sex with. However, you have all the rights to who get your body. You can control your urge to sex.

Differentiating Between Love and Sex

Differentiating Between Love and Sex

You need to understand that love and sex are two different things. They may be inter-related to having a better relationship but love is the foremost element that is required for the liveliness of the relationship.

How it can affect your Love Life?

relationship without trust

Once you understand the fact that sex and love are two different things, you will automatically lead a better love life. Love should be unconditional and it should be given to the person who deserves it. You don’t have to have sex all the time to make sure your man is happy, show him affection through everything, by supporting him, by caring for him but surprising him. Of course, have sex but know that sex without love is like having a relationship without trust.

Striking a balance between love, lust, and affection in your marriage

It is hard to differentiate between truly loving someone, having affection and to be lustful in a relation. Love is always a base for a successful marriage. Whereas affection is a tender feeling that helps you flourish in your relationship. Lust defines physical attraction and fantasy that disappears soon. Let us have a complete overview about love, affection and lust.


Romantic moments. Top view of happy young man playing the guitar

Love is a true and intense feeling that creates a strong bond of understanding and care between two people in a relationship. When you love each other truly, you commit doing anything for the one you love and make sincere efforts to resolve every conflict rather than giving up easily.

Scientifically speaking, feeling of love increases serotonin and dopamine levels in the body. These hormones keep you excited all the time and make you lose appetite. With time, as you fall deeply in love, your body starts generating oxytocin, the love hormone. You enjoy your partner’s company, want to be with him/her all the time and feel secure. For true lovers, love would mean more than physical attraction and sex. Moreover, true love deepens with time.




Affection is something that brings two people in a relationship close to each other. It is the time when you experience closeness, security, and passion. You are able to show affection only when you understand and appreciate your spouse’s needs. As soon as you develop affection in your relationship, it will result in satisfaction, marital contentment, joy, and intimacy.

However, affection is not romance and being sexual, but it delivers you romantic spontaneity and sexual satisfaction, thereby making your relationship full of fun and creativity. Affection is empathetic and an important factor in maintaining healthy personal relationships – whether it is a husband-wife relationship or a parent-child relationship.


A break-up


People often get confused between love and lust resulting in unsuccessful marriages. Love initially starts with lust, may overlap in a relation and sometimes lust never turns into love. Lust attracts you physically towards your partner and drives you into a state of fantasy.

Your fantasy disappears the moment you discover the reality of the person who never loved you. Lust is short-lived, as there is only the feeling of need and passion. However, it may last just to fulfill sexual desires.

For a successful marriage, it is necessary to maintain a balance between love, affection, and lust. Love is a beautiful feeling that keeps your relationship alive with affection as an addition to a flourishing relationship, but lust fades away with time.

Before you go…

Lust might fade over time. However, that doesn’t mean that physical intimacy or sex isn’t as important in a relationship as love. Once you realize that you truly love someone, you can build long-lasting intimacy with that person. And doing so is crucial. Here’s why:

Love and intimate sex are the pillars of a powerful and long lasting relationship

Relationships are one of the most beautiful things to have in a person’s life; this word becomes even more special when you have your companion right by your side until the very last breath you take. Can you call it a phase, a time of your life, or just an extension of your life? Defining the term Relationships is very difficult. 

Can we really define love or relationships?

The feeling of being in love is so powerful that even if you just get a glimpse of the person you love, you feel happy and satisfied. Without a doubt, intimacy does hold importance when you are in love, but there is a fine line between intimacy and sex. Only those who truly love their partner will understand this line. For the rest, their definition of intimacy is the word SEX.  When you are intimate with your partner, it is not just about getting into bed and having sex; it is more about expressing what you feel and sharing those precious moments together to build memories that will last a lifetime. When it comes to just having sex, you really could not be bothered about anything else except catering to your body needs.

Studies reveal facts about long-lasting relationships

The secret to long lasting relationships has always been one of the top priorities for scientists and researchers. This is the main reason why they conduct many studies and researches to understand how relationships last long in some couples, while in many cases they hardly sustain. The one conclusion that always comes into the picture is the connection and importance of intimate sex and love in relationships. Let us look at some of the findings that have come to light.

A look at why some couples are so in love with each other

Stony Brook University’s Daniel O’Leary and his team conducted a study to understand what made couples still be in love with each other after spending 10 or more years together. The results of the study dumbfolded the researchers after they had collected sufficient data from 274 couples.

In this study, couples had to answer a very simple question about how much they were in love with their partner. They had to rate their answer from 1 –being not in love at all to 7 – being intensely in love. To their surprise, the highest response that they got from these couples was being intensely in love with their partner. The ratio of this response was 49% in men and 46% in women were intensely in love with their partner. Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science even published this study in their recent edition.

So why were these couples so in love with each other?

Handsome boyfriend holding and kissing happy girlfriend

Well, the answer was very simple, these couples were not just in love with each other, they were also intimate in various ways. While intimate sex did hold importance to them, however, behaviors like kissing and hugging were the main part of their intimacy. It was not just having sex, but the ability to show their affection, love, and care to each other in a very special way, that made these relationships last so long. They did have frequent sex, but it was not just plain sex, instead, it was more of the intimate one.

A look at another study on the same front

 intimate sex

A team of researchers at the Université de Fribourg, University of Lausanne and York University also conducted studies to understand the secrete behind a happy relationship. No doubt, the findings was the same, however, the details also revealed how intimate sex boosted a person. In this study, they defined the term affection as a physical expression and a feeling of fondness.

Amanda Pasciucco, a Family and marriage therapist also stated that when couples have sex, it makes them happy; the reason behind it is that the endorphin levels increase due to intimate sex. This is because of the increased levels of the oxytocin and dopamine levels in the brain.

Pasciucco continued to say that when a couple has sex, they feel closer and happier with their partner. This is no doubt the best way to get intimate with your partner. But, what makes it better is that before and after having sex, the couples spoke about it. The study showed that intimacy was not restricted to just the bedroom, but it was even outside.

The conclusion

Through these studies and research, it is clear that in order for a relationship to last longer, there is a strong connection and the importance of intimate sex and love between couples. These two are indeed the main pillars of a successful relationship. Even Dr. Roger Libby, a sex therapist, and noted author stated that the secret of holding a relationship together is to be affectionate with each other.
In reality, love, affection and sexual intimacy are not in any competition with each other. None of these elements are superior or inferior to the rest. The truth is, love, sex, and affection are interconnected. For any relationship to survive and thrive, all three factors have to be equally present.

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