How to deal with anger and resentment in marriage

Resentment and anger is not the preferred pathway to a content lifestyle, particularly when it comes to your romantic relationship. They adversely affect your consummate relationship, and indicate concern and resolution. Hence, here are few tips to deal with anger and resentment in marriage.

Appreciate the power of forgiveness

Having a married life does not necessitate you to express all that you feel. Fresh research points out that uttering angry emotion can make you angrier. Perhaps the most prudent way to deal with anger and resentment is to forgive each other. Marriage is beyond the short and occasional bonding, which needs constant nurture and care to bloom.

Married life has responsibilities, children, money, career and many other aspects, which can make anger an integral part of your lifestyle. But, anger can be damaging, if left uncontrolled. There are many things which can be simply handled, without conflicting opinions.

One of the ways to control your anger is writing down the good emotions, like in a gratitude journal. You can habitually write few things in your gratitude journal. The habit will bring you closer to the brighter and encouraging shades of life. You concentrate on the optimist portion rather than relenting on the pessimist one.

Embrace spirituality in lifestyle

Spend some time with yourself to understand and examine things in a better way. Spirituality can help you in emerging as a better partner, and a better human being. It can provide a platform for introspection and help in the analysis of obstacles in your married life. Spirituality can help you relax with the help of meditation (like yoga).

By including a spiritual component into your lifestyle, you can understand the cause of resentment. The cause may be deep rooted in childhood (may be due to peer pressure), transiting into adulthood. When you progress along the path, you can emerge as a better and more capable person.

Indulge in constructive discussion

Anger and resentment signal the inability to comply on certain aspects of life. When you are at peace, work on the possible reasons of conflict. Women and men differ in their needs and temperaments. Both of you working to resolve the matter will give a yielding outcome. Your spouse will appreciate the initiative to have the matter discussed and resolved within stipulated time.

On occasions, you may feel that you are overwhelmed with responsibilities. Express yourself vividly, without hurting your partner’s sentiments. The glory of married life should not get subdued with improper expression.

It is also important to listen to your partner. He/she may be confronting a more serious problem than you expect. Sometimes, cumulative response (out of multiple problems) appears in the form of anger and resentment. Try to understand the other side of the story also.

Gain support from worthy sources

To err is human; well, being human, committing mistakes can be acceptable. But, before matters turn worse, get support and advice from trusted people. Talk about your problems to open up scope for improvisation. Your judgment can be impractical and unacceptable by your partner. Instead of imposing it, get suitable advice from a worthy source to do the right thing.

A support group can serve a tool. People who understand your case can provide unbiased advice. Those who have successfully traversed the marital path can provide practical solutions to your problems. Choose a circle of inspiring people who can help you in living resentment free.

Do not resort to alcohol and other artificial suppressants in dealing with anger. They may provide temporary respite, but exaggerate the effect later. Find interests which suit you to direct your efforts towards constructive purposes.

Avoid being a prisoner of the past

Clinical experience suggests individuals have (pre existent) unresolved anger which intrudes into their married lives. Failure to resolve past resentment, from other important relations, can be hurting and disturbing in the present. Here, the forgiveness approach is helpful. You can start slowly by forgiving those who hurt you. With time and effort, the benefits come to you and your partner.

Your overreaction, arising out of stress, is difficult to be accepted. Your partner can get hurt considerably, leaving little room for settlement later. Your grievances and resentment from the past should not trouble your present. You have to identify the cause and avoid playing blame game with each other.

If your partner misdirects anger at you, communicate this gently (and firmly) to him/her.

Dr Prem Jagyasi (c)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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