How to deal with an affair

Dealing with an affair can be tough for individuals, especially when you find that the other person you have trusted so much has ultimately broken your trust. Such tough situations are faced by many people and the selfish behavior of one person damages the relationship. However, there are some practical steps which an individual can undertake to help in dealing with an affair.

Do not be angry

Anger is the most damaging of all emotions that an individual experiences. This not only provokes you to say something which causes harm to your relationship but also makes you commit such deeds which you may not want to commit. Therefore, when you discover your partner is having an affair, do not show your anger on the person. Never allow your anger to overpower you. Your angry outburst may even spoil the chances of a reunion with your partner, by sorting out the issues. It may sound ridiculous but angry outbursts will only cause more harm, than do good to your already volatile relationship. You may be experiencing a wide range of emotions from anger to disgust to shock to depression. However try to keep them under control. If you do not keep a reign on these emotions, they may overpower you and may force you to say or do something, which you may not have done consciously under normal circumstances. You may hurt your partner or take revenge and this will further strain the relationship. Hence, keep yourself calm and composed.

Work together to maintaining your relationship

If you want to give your relationship a second chance, then it is very essential that you and your partner should join hands and device ways to make the relationship work. You alone will not be able to this job. Talk with your partner about the affair and try to think of ways which will enable both of you to cope with the affair and give a fresh lease of life to your relationship. Before talking with your partner, think rationally whether you will be able to continue the relationship even after this affair and whether you will able to forget and forgive your partner. Once you have resolved this issue, talk with your partner and find out whether he is also committed in making the relationship work out. You may not have the same relationship that you used to have once before the affair cropped up, but it surely will be a more committed and trustful one.

Establish boundaries

When dealing with an affair, it is essential to set boundaries for your partner so that he knows what to expect from you. It will also be useful for you as you will be able to make him understand what you expect from him. There will never be a problem regarding expectations and lack of fulfilling the expectations. When you are rebuilding your relationship all over again after the affair, make sure that you talk with your partner in a straightforward manner and highlight the expectations you have from him and also vice versa. This will help avoid misunderstandings in the future and also curb the possibility of another affair in the future due to such misunderstandings. This will help in coping with an affair effectively without any setback.

Face the facts; do not avoid them

When you discover your partner is involved in an affair, breaking the relationship and leaving your partner will not solve the problem. Wherever you will go, thoughts about your partner will haunt you and make you sad and depressed. The best way to handle such situations is to face the facts that your partner is involved in an affair. Turning your back to the reality will make you bitter, resentful and irritated. Face the facts rationally and try to devise ways on how to deal with the pain. Running away from the situation will not solve the issue. Rather facing the problem and trying to talk with your partner are good alternatives in sorting out such an issue. If you do not face the facts and remain silent, your relationship will only worsen and that will cause you more pain than the affair itself. Therefore, it is better to call a spade a spade and try to deal with it.

Do not blame yourself

Blaming yourself or finding faults with yourself is not a reasonable solution in dealing with the affair of your partner. This will only lower your self esteem and confidence, ultimately lowering your morale. There are many people who in in spite of giving the fullest commitments to their relationships have to face affairs of their partners. That is not their drawback. Rather it is the nature of their partner who treats them in such a manner despite their best efforts to make the relationship work out.

Dr Prem Jagyasi (c)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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