Adopting a child and accepting it completely is difficult to do, both for the child and other family members, no matter how pleasant it be for parents.There would be a volley of complex questions and dealing with these questions, the resistance and the difficulty that families often face during an adoption is a difficult and often a brain tolling exercise. Mentioned and elaborated below are few wonderful tips that can really help you tip off the emotional typhoon that your family would undergo.
Involve every member of the family in discussions regarding the adoption
Every member has his own opinion and it is absolutely essential to let these opinions come out fluently and smoothly. What most families prefer to do is to take the decision of adoption and then blast it off in front of all the family members. The result? There is first of all havoc and then questions rising up and then a whole routine of convincing trial that could extend for the next few months. This is the wrong way of making adoption decisions. The right way is to conduct family meetings and ask everyone to opine their own voices.
Start counseling your first child
Children have a very unique way of thinking and every child is different in the way he handles matters. Adoption is one of such issues. The first impact of the decision to adopt on your child would be an immense emotional insecurity. The very idea of another child coming in the family would make bubbles blow in his little brain. There would be resistance from his side, lots of immature questions coming in, lots of fears creeping up and hell lot of insecurity drawing in. It would be your responsibility to handle all these things in the right manner. The best way to minimize all these things is to start counseling sessions with your child right from the day you start to think about the adoption.
Prepare the adopted childâs room the way he likes it
It is as tough a test for the adopted kid to adjust to the new atmosphere as it is for the other family members. It has to be your prime focus to make the initial days at your home comfortable to the new member. Let his/her room be the way he wants it to be. Birth parents are always important and children like it if their remembrances are respected and adored. Try and make out what he likes, what he does not, what is the style of communication to which he is habituated and what are the things that he expects out of his new family. Donât push him into accepting things. Try and change a bit to make things easier for him.
Help your child find his birth family if he wishes to do so
Many parents feel insecurity just as the child does, as far as adoption goes. There is always an effort put in from the part of parents to conceal the birth family from the child. This gesture is a wrong one. It would make it difficult for your child to accept you and your family. So avoid doing things that would enhance this bitter feeling in your child. Instead, support him in his search for his birth family. This will create positive feelings for you in your childâs mind.
Try and avoid discrimination
Many parents there reading this, would debate the fact that discrimination happen between the adopted and the biological child. However, it is a fact. We donât understand, but our actions apparently show the discriminative feeling. In many households, that have undergone adoption, parents often face frustrations in relationships. This frustration is spit out in the form of anger against the adopted child. Another factor that drives differences is that the biological child, many-a-times, tries to get his adopted sibling trapped into situations, out of emotional insecurity. It is the responsibility of parents to make situations clear and make the adopted child feel wanted and liked, while not letting the biological child feel neglected and let down. There should be counseling for the adopted child as well, wherein he could be communicated that he is wanted and loved, but he would have to try and accept that love & care.
