Abuse of any kind can be very difficult to deal with. If the abuse comes from the wife, in most cases, the people involved part ways. Here are some ways to deal with an abusive wife before you call it quits.
Understand her problem
It is important to understand why your wife gets abusive. It could be that you are unknowingly making her abusive with certain habits or behavior which could be disturbing. Assess your habits and see when she tends to get abusive. If you watch for a few days, you will surely be able to pinpoint what makes her abusive. Make an effort to curtail those habits for bringing back peace at home. Check for a few days if there is any improvement in her behavior. If no, then the problem lies elsewhere and you need to talk with her seriously. Understanding the problem is the first step towards finding out what causes such outbursts. If it is something else that is related to her work, you can try to make her open up towards you and help her relax so that she does not break under the pressure.
Try to talk to her
When the outbursts become very frequent, it is important that you talk to her about it and find out the real reason. There are several reasons that can make a woman abusive towards her husband. It could be his habits, relationship issues, stress, mental agony etc. to name a few. Talking to her and making an earnest effort to understand what causes the abuse is the best way to deal with it. Be open and approachable and if she refuses to divulge the reason, let her know that talking openly is important for a smooth relationship and keeping quiet will only aggravate the situation and lead to more friction between both of you. Let her understand that you are willing to give the relationship a try before taking hasty decisions. This will make her understand the importance and open up. However, be ready for the worst as it could be that she is involved in another relationship and is finding it hard to cope and let you know.
Ignore her
Despite attempts from your part to make amends and change for her, if she continues with her behavior, try ignoring her remarks and abuses. You can either remain perfectly silent or just walk away when she starts the abuse. She might need psychological counselling in such cases as the problem could be a mental disorder or hypertension. Try your best not to dishevel her and check your priorities in life. If you find that coping is becoming a daunting task, you must talk to others and look for options that can help you deal with the situation. Tell her about the need for marital counselling and convince her that it is indeed necessary to keep the relationship going, if she is looking at a long term relationship. Do not keep ignoring the abuses for too long as it can affect your mental and physical well being as well.
Boring baroque response
If your wife is generally a stressful person, abuses could be part of her life and you might have to devise ways to either stop it or cope with it. Try the boring baroque response if she is purposely out there to irritate you or create issues that lead to a verbal abuse. Boring baroque response is to argue without any emotional involvement. This kind of argument which leads to nowhere and does not touch any subject particularly could bore your wife and she might back off at some stage. Boring baroque response should be taken up carefully after assessing the motive behind the abuses. If the abuses are showered due to a habit that irks her, boring baroque response could make matters worse.
Walk out
After you have tried your level best, if things remain the same and she does not make an effort to change, there is no reason that you should put yourself in such a situation for ever. Walk out of your marriage when everything has clearly failed and there is no hope in your relationship. However, ensure that you have a deep talk with your abusive wife and let her know the reasons that prompted you to walk out. Tell her that you have tried your best to bring about certain changes and it is difficult to stick on when there is no hope and change in her behavior. This should be your last resort and allow her time to re think her actions before you take the final step.
